


Song of the Ghost

by sungyeols



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Actor!Sungyeol, DramaticBestFriend!Woohyun, GhostSinger!Myungsoo, M/M, Manager!Sunggyu, Not A Horror Fic!, Trainee!Sungjong, VocalTrainer!Dongwoo, idol!hoya
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-10-26 22:44:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 34,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10796271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sungyeols/pseuds/sungyeols
Summary: Sungyeol is an actor who can’t sing, and Myungsoo is a trainee who can’t succeed.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> ALERT! If this is familiar to you, well because it's my old fic that I've posted and never finished updating for I got busy with uni. Now it's back, and it will be posted in three parts—all of which I've finished writing and is just under beta process so no need to worry that I'm not going to finish, because I WILL. Yes.   
> I thank with my whole heart the two people who have never left my side throughout this long ass journey of writing a long ass fic—my pack family, Lana (an actual Beta, harhar) and Aniko, who gave me moral support on times I felt like quitting.   
> Yes, the title is a NELL song.  
> 

He’s inside the recording booth, singing a new demo for approval, when he makes the mistake of looking up from his lyrics sheet.

Sungyeol is standing there, behind the audio mixer. He’s got his eternal scowl that he sports whenever he sees Myungsoo, and Myungsoo’s blood simmers in his body like water boiled in a pot. They’re mortal enemies, Myungsoo knows this by heart. He doesn’t like Sungyeol, and the feeling is mutual between them since day one. He won’t give him the satisfaction of intimidating him to failure though, so he sings the song he learned just an hour ago and performs it outlandishly so, just to spite Sungyeol.

Dongwoo gives him the approving thumbs up when he finishes the song in one go, and Myungsoo throws a challenging smirk at Sungyeol from behind the glass.  _ You won’t intimidate me, _ he thinks. Sungyeol still looks condescending.

“I thought someone was dying of the common cold inside the recording booth.” Sungyeol shoots at him the moment he steps outside of the booth.

“At least I can hold a note. Unlike some people.” he spits back as he reaches for the water bottle on the table.

Sungyeol leans back on the audio panel.

“What’s the use in being able to sing when you can’t even do it properly?”

“What’s the use in criticizing an actual signed singer when you can’t even distinguish a note? You basically have no right.” he prods at the taller man.

“Alright you guys, don’t fight.” Dongwoo cuts in between them, headphones slung on his neck. One of his hands pushing at Myungsoo and the other at Sungyeol. “Come on Sungyeol. It’s 1 in the afternoon, and Myungsoo still needs to record 3 more songs for the next episode of your drama. Don’t kill him yet.” Dongwoo chuckles a bit to lighten up the atmosphere and Myungsoo is the first one who steps back and relaxes his shoulders. His mother taught him to be the better person.

Sungyeol sends him an icy stare before leaving the room.  


	2. The Opportunity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For every door that closes, a window awaits Myungsoo.

 

When the music finally stops, Myungsoo finds himself slumped down on the floor after doing a dance routine. He’s sweaty and sticky all over, catching his breath. The grey shirt he’s wearing has patches of sweat in it and is sticking at his back, his curly hair damp with sweat and all over the place, but that’s the least of his concerns. The new dance routine is harder, with lots of complex moves. He isn’t the best dancer around—he likes to consider himself as average but also eager in doing his best—so he has to pick up the pace and not fall behind the other trainees, considering he’s been here the longest. He grabs his bottled water from the floor and drinks almost half the content. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and stares blankly at the other trainees around him. Minjoon and Sungyoon are  telling some sort of joke to the other trainees that makes them also crack up. Myungsoo frowns at the sight. They’re always together and yet there’s always  some distance; excluding him from them. He sighs and runs his hands through his hair, making it messier looking. He looks at the clock on the wall and realizes that their five minute break is already up, and it’s time to stand up and do the routine again. He shakes off his wandering thoughts and gets up when Hyojin, the choreographer, tells them to get back to their positions.

The music starts and everything goes well. He even manages to catch up to the difficult spin and pop they have to do before the chorus. But before the bridge he misses his footing and slips onto the floor of the practice room, a loud thud echoing. The music stops and the rest of the trainees stop dancing. When he opens his eyes that he unconsciously closed he sees Hyojin, quick on her feet, rushing to Myungsoo. Sungjong, the only one from the trainees who is actually close to him, is also at his side, worry traced on his face.

“Are you okay, Myungsoo?” Hyojin asks.

Myungsoo tries to stand up but there is blinding pain shooting up from his ankle. He lets out a frustrated huff as he attempts to stand up but it’s painful and his lower back is throbbing. He tries to talk but no words come out.

“I figured as much. Sungjong, help him up and go back to your dorms. I’m dismissing practice early. I’m going to call your manager so he can pick you all up.” she says as she wipes sweat from her forehead, face etched with worry and fatigue.

Sungjong loops his arm around his shoulders and helps him get up. He feels pathetic, a lump of failure - while the younger male is helping him up. One of the trainees rushes to his other side and helps Sungjong carry him, and he feels worse both physically and emotionally.

Hyojin calls their manager and when the man arrives, the trainees already gathered their things and are ready to go. The manager helps Myungsoo up in his seat and the rest of the way back to the dorms is spent in silence inside the van. He’s sitting in the front so he doesn’t know what the others are doing in the back but he’s pretty sure they’re sending him ‘disappointment glares’. He focuses his eyes at the haphazardly applied cast on his ankle and thinks, that he might be getting too old for this. He ends up falling asleep in the next 5 minutes of the drive.

When he wakes up, they aren’t in front of the dorms but rather in front of a hospital, and when their manager helps him down, Sungjong is also there—because he insisted on coming, according to their manager—and the young blond male wheels Myungsoo in.

They get his ankle checked up and give him some proper treatment, receive prescribed medications, and then they’re heading back to the dorms before he knows it. When they’re in the elevator Myungsoo glances at Sungjong and his face is serious, eyes hesitant.

“I want to quit now.” He declares and casts a look at his injured ankle, and his practice clothes where his sweat had already dried up. He already said this line numerous times now, but it was half-assed or hurried out of his mouth, without a meaning. But at that moment, inside the elevator, it seems like the right thing to do.

Sungjong looks at him, and there’s a glint in his eyes that may say something, but it’s too quickly replaced by another expression and Myungsoo is too slow to catch it. The blond male runs his hands in his hair. The elevator opens on their floor. Sungjong doesn’t reply, and helps him walk to their rooms.

After he finishes marginally cleaning and changes to his sleeping clothes, he lies down on his bed and bundles himself up with his blanket. He doesn’t feel like eating even though he was hungry earlier and he doesn’t feel like leaving the room he shares with Sungjong and another trainee at all. He looks at the ceiling some more and thinks about his life, mainly his future. Ever since he was young it has been his dream to perform onstage, the bright lights surrounding him, people screaming his name. But now, 5 years later upon acceptance in the trainee program, he wonders if this is truly the right path for him. He spent those 5 years learning what it takes to be an idol, kept a clean record and did nothing wrong that would hinder his supposed success and ability to debut. But here he is, injured and unsuccessful. He thinks about his parents who have supported his dream, sent him off to the hard life of being a trainee encouraging him to do his best in the hopes that one day they’ll see their beloved son on tv, performing a song that would hit #1. He sighs and buries his face in his pillow in frustration. He thinks some more, eyes glassy and red rimmed.

By the time he falls asleep, a decision has already been made in his mind.

-

Myungsoo insists going with the trainees to the company building, the very next day.

Sungjong insists that he rests but he almost screams at him just so that he would allow him to go. He know the higher-ups doesn’t like slackers. He slings his backpack on his right shoulder and it feels heavy, even though there isn’t much inside. His palms are sweaty and clammy when he grips onto Sungjong as the younger helps him walk towards the van.

When he woke up, he had a new resolve. With the thoughts from last night, he has made the decision of quitting. It’s like a time bomb, ticking, looming above him ever since he joined as a trainee. It was always an option, but it was the last resort option. Myungsoo had come to think of it every now and then. Of course, it would be hard at first, he’d still have to talk to someone high up about his contract, then actually tell his parents about this. He’d give everything to be done - to be already a month or so to be processed and be over with. He can already sense the disappointment he’ll garner. Not just from his parents but also distant family relatives, and friends, and everyone who knows him. He’d be easily labeled as a failure. Nobody will care about the good he’d done because his failure will be put before it.

Today is vocal practice day, so they’re at the recording studio. He and a bunch of trainees are seated on the long couch by the wall, outside the recording booth and they’re all patiently waiting for their turns. He’s reading the lyrics from the sheet they gave him earlier when the door opens and the CEO enters the recording room. All the trainees immediately stand up to bow (even him, but it’s a relatively slow process) and the CEO dismisses them off with a wave. There is someone behind him, and he thinks he vaguely remembers the guy. The trainees bow to him too, nevertheless. The guy is handsome, no doubt about that, and he is tall and lean in his built. His hair is black and styled up so his forehead is showing, and there’s this wave of familiarity in his face. It is only when the tall guy is seated beside the CEO and vocal coach, does he remember his name.

It’s Lee Sungyeol.

Lee Sungyeol is a  _ household name _ , meaning - every stay-at-home mom that watches dramas all the time would know of him. He is widely loved and accepted by the public for his acting, his eminent kind behavior, and pleasing personality. So to say, it’s the kind of person Myungsoo would kill to be. Someone who has fame, money, success, admiration and love from almost the entire nation.

He sits there, listening to the conversation between the CEO and their coach. The trainees are whispering amongst themselves and it’s painfully obvious that they’re talking about Sungyeol. Who wouldn’t, when it’s the first time they see him up close. He hardly ever gets spotted in the company due to his busy schedule and when he does appear, the trainees are busy or not present. So this is a big  _ thing  _ for some of them, being in the presence of a senior who is well respected even though they’re aiming to be idols and he is an actor.

Sungyeol doesn’t even spare them a glance, he doesn’t seem too interested to be in there either. Myungsoo couldn’t care less, too.

He snaps from his daze when Sungjong nudges his side lightly. He looks up.The entire room is looking at him; even the CEO.

“Myungsoo, how about you go next?” Their vocal coach asks,and Myungsoo gives a quick nod and gets up from his seat to enter the booth. When he’s inside,  lyrics page in front of him,  he slips the headphones on his ears while looking around. The CEO is still there, Lee Sungyeol is there, the vocal coach is seems stern, with her hands crossed on her chest. He knows that look, it’s one she uses when she wants to make sure the trainees don’t disappoint her and sing well. Given that the CEO is there, which gives an immediate  tension boost and Myungsoo feels like crawling out of his skin. But he’s got no time for that now, because the signal is given and the music starts.

He starts slow, and picks up the tempo along with the music. He sinks into the moment; closes his eyes and lifts one hand up, a mannerism he developed when singing to help him keep the tone.  

When he opens his eyes, he sees the CEO is gone and so is Lee Sungyeol. Huh.

When he finishes, he removes the headphones and puts it on the stand and waits for the vocal trainer to say something like she always does - a comment, a critique about note sang wrong - but she just dismisses him and lets the next trainee enter.

“You did well, hyung. Even the CEO said you’re good.” Sungjong says to him much later, when they’re eating lunch in the cafeteria. It’s only the two of them at the table and they’re eating some sort of soup that may as well be boiled water with some food coloring. They can’t really eat much since they’re trainees- they have weight expectations to uphold, abs to nurture, and fit, toned bodies for the fangirls to cultivate- so the disastrous soup will have to do. He’s less worried for himself; Sungjong is so stick thin he might snap from a gentle breeze sometimes soon.

“Oh yeah? They left in the middle of my song though.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

They continue to eat in silence after that. 

Sungjong looks up from his bowl every now and then, and looks like he’s about to say something but bites his tongue back every time and takes a spoonful of soup. When he can’t take it anymore, he sets his spoon down.

“You’re quitting, aren’t you?” Sungjong finally asks, eyes tired. He’s younger by a year, but his face suddenly looks much older and mature than usual.

“Yes. I was going to talk to the manager about it today.”

For a moment there, in the cafeteria, in front of Sungjong- he feels guilty. Guilty for saying that he’s quitting the road before starting, giving up on becoming an idol. But it lasts for no more than a second, and Sungjong already opens his mouth.

“Did you think it thoroughly?”

“Yes, Sungjong. I did.”

“I know I took our friendship for granted, hyung. I didn’t do much because I expected that you’ll always be there beside me, that we’ll be able to stand on stage together and overcome obstacles like that. I always thought that you’d be the leader too. We all did.” He pauses, as if he waits for Myungsoo to answer, and when he doesn’t he continues with; “I guess the least I could do for you now is to accept your decision.” He sighs.

“Thank you, Sungjong. We can still be friends, after this... anyway, so don’t worry.”

“I want to.” Sungjong avoids looking at him; “But things are going to change, hyung.”  _ When we debut without you,  _ is looming in the air even though Sungjong doesn’t say it. Myungsoo plays with the rest of the liquid inside the cup. He doesn’t feel  all that hungry anymore.

He and Sungjong are on the way to the practice room (with him limping his way ) when one of the managers  blocks their path.

“Kim Myungsoo, come with me.” the manager says and Myungsoo gives Sungjong a confused glance, before trying to catch up to the manager.

“The CEO wants to see you.” the manager explains and Sungjong nudges Myungsoo in the arm.

“Good luck, hyung. I’ll see you later.” he strolls off after that and Myungsoo goes to the CEO’s office with the manager.

When he enters the office,he’s seated in one of the expensive chairs, and the manager bows to the CEO and leaves Myungsoo there alone. He fidgets a bit in his seat; if it wasn’t for the air conditioning he’d probably be sweating a lot. He tends to do that when he’s extra nervous.

What did the company CEO call him here for anyway? Did he know he was going to quit? That impossible, since he’d just told it to Sungjong. He looks back at the things he’s done the past week, months even, and thinks hard if he did something wrong that earned him a trip in the office.

Lee Jungyeop looks friendly, so to say, when he offers Myungsoo some coffee or tea or anything else he might want that would make him feel more comfortable.

“You called me, sir?”

“You’re not in trouble, so relax. I actually called you in for some news. More like an offer, but  _ still  _ news.”

That makes Myungsoo even more nervous. He feels like the walls are closing in on him and he’s suddenly aware of his lungs, inhaling and exhaling air. He feels like what might be a start of an anxiety attack.

“I know how long you’ve been in this company, and how hardworking you are, Myungsoo. You’re remarkable as a trainee, willing, and you’ve kept a clean record. That’s why I thought of you when the opportunity rose.”

_ Fuck. Am I going to debut?  _ is the first thing that comes to his mind and his hands are shaking.

“What kind of an opportunity are we talking about?” he dares to ask, surprised that he found his voice.

“You’ll get to sing. People will hear your voice everywhere, and will most likely love it. But it’s only going to be your voice. We need a ghost singer.”

Myungsoo thinks he might faint, so he clutches his jeans so hard, he feels his nails digging in the thick, rough denim.  Any harder and the skin will tear and bleed. He has to take a few inhales, he tries to make it less obvious to the CEO.

He doesn’t know what to think. This is just too much.

“It might be a lot to take in at once, I know. I’ll give you at least a day to think about it. It’s not an easy decision. If you have concerns, then we’ll discuss it, after you agree. Create a proper contract...”

He nods lightly.

“I’m not forcing you into this. There are other trainees out there, more singers, people who would be willing to take up an offer like this. I’m just showing you a path you can take, offering you an opportunity. A town doesn’t have only one street. There are other paths, even better paths than the highway where everyone is at. Don’t you want to live well now after years of hard work? Think about that.”

Myungsoo avoids his eyes and stares at the carpeted floor for a while. It must’ve been seconds, or maybe minutes. He doesn’t know.

“Thank you. I’ll be going now.” he stands up and gives a low bow to the elder man.

“My door is open for you. Tomorrow or when you’ve made up your mind, and then we’ll talk.” he reminds him.

The words loop in his head like a broken cassette tape, when he’s inside the cab he takes to return to the dorms. He doesn’t have the energy to practice or do anything. _ Ghost singer. _

Of course, the only way he can succeed is the way where he won’t really be succeeding. It’s someone else who would be doing it for him. He only gets to be a part of it, the shadow part. He would laugh at the situation if he wasn’t so overwhelmed.

Part of him wants to take the job, but another part doesn’t want to because has a pride to withhold.  _ Fucking pride,  _ he whispers as he taps on the window of the cab.

Mostly, he’s just tired, and upset with himself and his feelings.

 

-

 

Sungjong notices his mood when he comes back from practice later that night, with Myungsoo hiding under the covers of his bed. He manages to coax Myungsoo out for a walk in the neighborhood (sneakily, without telling the inhouse manager) and when they’ve grabbed a few kimbap rolls and juice from the convenience store, Myungsoo spills everything, telling him that  _ no _ , he didn’t have the opportunity to say he was quitting ( _ he had, but it’s not like he had the willpower to talk earlier after something as big as that) _ and that  _ yes _ , the company had offered him somewhat a  _ solo career, _ but not exactly. 

“So what are you going to do? I mean, this is huge, for a trainee. Not all of us get the opportunity to actually get our voice out there. Some trainees work hard for years and end up not getting to debut at all. I’ve seen it on a documentary once.”

“Are you saying I should take it?” He takes a bite of the kimbap.

“If you feel like it.”

“I honestly don’t know what I feel. I can’t even think about it, even though I have to, because I feel like my brain gets twisted in knots. I just want to make my parents proud, you know? And not let them down. They hoped for so much and worked so hard for me throughout the years..”

“I can’t tell you if you should do this or that. There’s no right answer. Hyung, if you feel that taking it is the right thing to do, then I will support you. If you still want to quit, I will still have your back. In the end it’s about you. What do you think will make you the happiest  or most content?”

They eat in silence for a while after that, and somehow Myungsoo’s head becomes lighter.

“I’ll think about it. I have a few hours to waste, anyway.”

“Yeah, you should do that.”

“It’s hard to find good friends, nowadays. Thank you Sungjong.”

“It’s nothing hyung. Who else would help you but me?” He proudly declares after taking a sip. Myungsoo ruffles his hair as he smiles.

-

He sits in the sofa inside the recording room—a week after signing the contract—waiting. He obviously arrived way too early than the said meeting time, but that’s partly because he decided to come together with the trainees. He still lives with them—and none of them know yet, except for Sungjong, but he’s not the type to blabber or gossip about such things. Sooner or later, they’ll start having their suspicions, or figuring out something’s fishy - but Myungsoo doesn’t want to worry about it now.

Today he’s supposed to meet with the vocal coach for a lesson, and to do a sample song for the actor whom he’ll be working with. He still doesn’t know who it’ll be, because the CEO refused to reveal his identity.

What will he be like? Will they become friends or something? Will it be, like, a strictly business thing? Will the actor like his voice? Is the actor nice?

He can’t help but get  more anxious as  more questions fill his head, when he waits. It’s his first real gig, singing as a professional, so of course he’s excited. He’s already one step closer to fulfilling his dreams, this is the start of a new chapter.

He pulls his hoodie more to himself since the air conditioning is cranked up high and stretches his legs before him. He does little vocal exercises to pass the time.

The vocal coach arrives an hour later, and isn’t too surprised by Myungsoo’s punctuality. It’s a trainee duty and responsibility.He already got that stamped at the back of his head.

The vocal coach introduces himself as Jang Dongwoo. He’s roughly around 4 years older than Myungsoo but he tells Myungsoo to tone down the formalities with him.

“Just call me hyung! Not the teacher thing, it makes me feel older.” He laughs.

He’s not quite tall, and has those wild eyes that would make anybody easily mistake him for a foreigner. He’s bubbly and bouncing on his feet, and Myungsoo wonders how someone can have that much energy and still have the concentration ability for vocal training. He enthusiastically tells Myungsoo that he’s working for the company for more than 5 years now, and is in charge of coaching Infinite Power, the only boy group the company handles. Myungsoo has thoughts suddenly racing in his head when the group’s name is mentioned but he shrugs it off.

Dongwoo makes him warm up his vocal chords and tests them. He is very sharp and precise in finding out the errors Myungsoo makes and gives him insight on how and where to improve. Dongwoo is easygoing but stays  professional at the same time, so Myungsoo actually has a good time He’s much nicer than Myungsoo’s last vocal trainer (the one he and the other trainees have) and he’s so grateful for that.

He’s drinking water from his bottle, having a much needed break,when the door opens and Lee Sungyeol enters the recording room. Dongwoo leaps up from his seat and gives the taller male a hug.

“Sungyeollie!” Dongwoo exclaims as he hugs the actor and Myungsoo makes the decency to stand up and bow to his senior. Sungyeol catches his eye and nods in acknowledgement.

“Dongwoo hyung! Good to see you again.” Sungyeol says as he pats Dongwoo’s back. The vocal coach makes him sit beside him by the control panel and Dongwoo points a finger at him.

“I’ve had a feeling it was going to be you, and I was correct. Don’t worry, I won’t go around  telling.” Dongwoo says.

Suddenly it all clicks. 

Sungyeol smiles and rubs his nape.

“Sungyeol, this is Kim Myungsoo, the trainee.” Dongwoo introduces and Myungsoo was going to bow again when Sungyeol waves his hand to tell him no.

“I’m Lee Sungyeol, the actor.”

He’s a bit star struck, no surprise there. He just stands there, like a silent stump,  as Sungyeol and Dongwoo exchange a few words.From what Myungsoo sees he’s a pretty cool guy, down to earth, and there is none of those ‘I’m a self-righteous bastard, but I also happen to be a big star so bow down to me ’ vibes. When he saw him the other time,with the CEO, he didn’t really give the attention or the thought but now that he took the time to study him, he understands why Sungyeol is so hyped. Probably more for his personality, than anything else.

Myungsoo is staring at the wall, deep in thought, (he tends to do that unconsciously, most of the time it scares the other trainees) when Dongwoo claps his hands in front of his face to bring him back to Earth—and instructs him to do a test run singing the song he practiced earlier while Sungyeol is watching. Myungsoo obeys and enters the booth, placing the lyrics on the stand as he fits his headphones.

“Okay Myungsoo—just relax and don’t worry too much. Just sing it like I told you earlier and you’d do fine.” Dongwoo says over the mic and Sungyeol is there just watching him. Myungsoo doesn’t know what to make of his expression but he decides not to mind it for now.

He begins singing, eyes trained on the lyrics page. He tries to convey the feeling that the song wants to show and keeps in mind the notes that his vocal coach told him. He would look up at the mirror every now and then, and check Dongwoo and Sungyeol’s reaction. Dongwoo has his hands on his chin and he seems to be talking, while Sungyeol has a poker face on and his arms are both crossed over his chest.

Myungsoo is singing the second chorus when he hears the two of them talking, all of the sudden, probably because Dongwoo didn’t turn off the feedback system. 

“I don’t like his voice.”

“Why not? He’s been training for years so his vocals are good, and he’s stable too - there not much trainees that can get to his level, so that should be put under consideration too.”

“He’s a no fit. It doesn’t sound like my voice at all. Don’t you think people would be able to tell right away?”

Myungsoo hears it loud and clear, and stops in his singing. He stands there, mouth gaping like a fish out of water, unable to react more than blink. The vocal coach and the actor must’ve noticed the sudden silence, because the both of them turn to him and - well, at least Dongwoo has the audacity to procure a sympathetic expression, a concerned expression.Sungyeol, however, wears a shameless poker face, staring like he didn’t just say something derogatory.Myungsoo’s hands curl into a fists.

“Thank you for your comments—all of which are really rich, coming from a person that can’t take a note and needs someone  to do it for you.” His voice sounds sharper over the microphone.

“I was stating my opinion.” Sungyeol replies, then turns to Dongwoo; “Is this one of those trainees that needs to be handled with silk gloves?”

Before the words even sink in, Myungsoo’s already storming out of the room.

He feels upset and confused. A lot of l emotions stirring into some sort of a toxic concoction. Now that he’s out the room and he’s striding in the hallway with his bag in his hands he’s beginning to realize he might have overreacted and he feels remorse—not much, but it’s not like Sungyeol’s reaction made anything any better. He knows he has to be respectful—Sungyeol is still a senior at work, and he can’t scorn people who are older than him and are more respectable because his parents didn’t raise him to be rude like that.Hooray, it’s just the first day and he’s managed to blow up like a volcano and shout at Lee Sungyeol.

This isn’t him, most of the time he prefers his feelings bottled up—so he doesn’t know what is it that summoned such an outburst. It might be the tone that the actor used, or the statement itself. He shakes his head and sighs, messing his hair in frustration. He should’ve just shut up and bowed and left like a worm without a backbone.

He sits down in one of the benches in the company lounge, and maybe—most likely, he thinks—he wants to tell Sungyeol earlier that he’s wrong, that’s he’s every bit of deserving for this singing gig, even though it’s not what he actually signed up for five years ago. He worked hard to get that far, get his singing reach that kind of level. He didn’t train for years just for some actor who needed a ghost singer to disparage him and his skills after hearing him sing half a song. He knows he’s more than that.

The hopes of having a decent work relationship with Sungyeol, aren’t very high now. Sungyeol is bastard, and Myungsoo overreacted, and he’s not sure if there’s much to salvage there.  _ An arrogant bastard, _ Myungsoo adds to himself.

-

The following meetings between them aren’t the least bit peaceful either. Almost as if all masks are off, Sungyeol wastes no time insulting him upon his entrance to the studio, clicking his tongue in annoyance, and rolling his eyes when Myungsoo speaks. That continues for awhile until Myungsoo would snap back at him, which would usually result in clash that would end only with Dongwoo’s involvement. Dongwoo has advised that Sungyeol should be there when Myungsoo is recording so he can pick up some of the gestures or the movements he can bring to life when he  _ pretends to sing _ in the drama. Dongwoo also makes Myungsoo sing in a voice similar to Sungyeol’s slightly lispy voice to settle Sungyeol’s issue of Myungsoo not even having a voice similar to him. Most meetings end up with one of them storming off, or the entire room sitting in tense angry silence (worst case scenario, Dongwoo’s angry at their inability to act professional), and Myungsoo knows it’s immature and stupid but he can’t help but defend himself.

It’s almost like he’s constantly on the edge with Sungyeol, always in combat mode, not sure what to expect. 

He stops attending trainee lessons, since the musical drama Sungyeol is shooting, demands a lot of songs to be recorded at once. And it takes a few days  until the other trainees find out he’s been withdrawn from the group for the time being. Sungjong gives him a knowing look and a pat on the shoulder when he’s packing his stuff, but some of the trainees look indifferent, probably trying to conceal the happiness from his departure. He hears one of them saying that Myungsoo is going solo, when he’s packing his stuff from the bathroom. 

It’s technically true. Just not in the way they probably mean it to be. They seem jealous and upset after he hugs Sungjong one last time. 

He moves out of the trainee dorms and the agency rents him a small studio apartment, near it. He’s not allowed to go home yet, and he’d rather not, either way. The agency thinks information leaks are more avoidable if he lives alone.

That day’s recording session was tiring and he couldn’t seem to get the proper emotion of the song the way it was needed, so  Dongwoo makes him sing the same verse over and over to perfect it. It’s quite difficult to do especially when Sungyeol’s there, even if he’s just sitting beside Dongwoo and staring at him. He sees it every time he glances up from the page. He’s  _ just  _ staring at him, and Myungsoo feels as if he’s being picked apart atoms by atoms with Sungyeol’s imaginary claws. It’s tiring for Myungsoo as it is, and Sungyeol’s comments don’t really help.

He’s supposed to make Myungsoo’s life easy because he’s his ghost singer, for fuck’s sake, but it seems as if Sungyeol enjoys seeing him annoyed and moody all the time.

It’s late afternoon by the time he finished that day’s session. He’s tired and hungry, and his vocal chords need some tea to relax. He’s about to leave the building when he bumps into a familiar face, and Myungsoo reaches out for a high five. It’s Howon, one of his very good friends from when he was still a new trainee.

Howon is a debuted idol now, a member of Infinite Power. He’s been training in the company for years when Myungsoo first joined the trainee group. Myungsoo was still young back then and he had so much potential, overflowing youthful visuals that would probably make it big out there. 7 months later after Myungsoo’s arrival to the program, Infinite Power debuts, and 5 of them make it. The other trainees were pretty much sure that Myungsoo would make the cut despite his late entrance due to the favouritism that was shown to him because of his visuals, only for it to be let down in the end.

_ Of course, it’s not your time yet, you still have to train more,  _ a staff had told Myungsoo.

After Howon—now called in his stage name Hoya—debuted he hardly had any time to talk to Myungsoo but he was one of the trainees who actually got along well with him. Every now and then they would pass by each other in the hallway, but there wasn’t really enough time except for  a nod of acknowledgement or a wave.

“Myungsoo!” Howon calls out to Myungsoo and they do that handshake they used to do since they were trainees. Howon looks genuinely happy to see him and it makes Myungsoo smile.

“What are you doing alone here? Aren’t you supposed to be with the trainees right now? I saw them in the practice room when I passed by.”

“I’m kind of no longer a trainee, anymore.”

“Did you quit?” he notices worry laced in Howon’s question.

“No I didn’t—it’s a bit of a long story.”

“I have a free day today. I have all the time to listen to your stories and catch up with you. Did you eat yet?”

He shakes his head and that’s enough for Howon to take him by the arm and lead him to a car in the company parking lot.

“Since when did you have a car?” He asks,while he straps his seatbelt.

“Early this year, if I can remember correctly. I seldom use it though. Only when I have a free day.” Howon starts the engine and begins backing away from the parking space.

“Seldom use it? Not even for a nightly visit to your girlfriend?” He teases Howon.

“It’s still too early for these questions Myungsoo, we still haven’t gotten drunk yet.” Howon jokes. Even though they haven’t talked for a long time, he still feels comfortable around Howon, and he reminds him of what he used to have long before they debuted.

They arrive at the place, a small scale restaurant downtown. Howon got them a private room and the order is placed shortly after they settled down. He urges Howon talk about his lovelife and finds out that he really is dating Hyojin, the choreographer. They talk a bit more about idol life itself. It makes Myungsoo relax and wind down from the crazy week he’s been having.

"But that’s enough about me. What about you? Why are you suddenly out of the trainee program? Are they making you go solo?" Howon asks him over a spoonful.

"Sort of."

"Care to elaborate?"

"I have a contract that says I shouldn't tell much but..." he hesitates.

"But?"

"All I can say is that I'm officially signed under the company as a singer."

Howon nods, as if that answer was enough for him.

"That's good for you, man. That's nice. I thought you were off the trainee program because you're finally debuting with the new group but that's also great-”

“What do you mean?” Myungsoo’s perplexed.

“What?”

“You said something about a new group?”

Howon bites his lip and exhales. He sits upright and his jaw hardens, Myungsoo can see it.

“Didn’t they tell you? They’re debuting a new group in a few months. At least 3, tops. I heard from one of our managers that some of them are being transferred to the new group and that a press conference is due in a few days time.”

“Are you sure?” He asks him. Howon doesn’t answer and casts his glance to the floor, avoiding his eyes.

Myungsoo feels limp in his seat so he grips the edge of the table. His heart is pounding so hard as if it wants to come out of his body. His vision is suddenly spinning and he wants to throw up. He can feel himself crumbling down into tiny little pieces. He can’t speak, and it feels as if he stopped breathing too.

“Myungsoo?” Howon calls out his name but Myungsoo can’t respond. It feels as if everything is out of reach for him.

“Myungsoo? You’re shaking. Breathe, Myungsoo. Breathe slowly.” Howon holds him by his shoulders but he continues on hyperventilating.

It feels like forever for him. By the time the feeling subsides he’s lying down on the long leather seat in the room and Howon is sitting beside him. He looks at him with pity in his eyes. Myungsoo shakily sits upright and wipes his face with the back of his hand. There’s tears in his eyes. Howon stands up.

“Let’s get you back home. Where do you live now?”

“No, take me back to the company.” he manages to croak out. They walk out to Howon’s car, and when he sits in the shotgun seat there is only silence between them. He looks out the window of the car and watches the sun go down in the horizon.

When Howon pulls up in the parking lot of the company building, he stops the engine and coughs.

“I know I shouldn’t pry. I don’t usually pry, you know that. But, are you sure you don’t want to tell me something?” Howon carefully asks, like he’s walking on eggshells. Myungsoo fidgets with his fingers and bites his lip. He wants to tell Howon. He’s the closest thing to a bestfriend that he had too aside from Sungjong. He feels like he’s going to explode if he doesn’t say it too either.

“I… The company… They signed me as Lee Sungyeol’s ghost singer.” He says shakily, and he feels tears threatening to fall again. He feels so stupid, and so weak. He can’t even look up at Howon because he feels so small.

“Oh. Holy shit. Myungsoo. Fuck. I’m sorry.” He hears Howon mutters, rubbing his nape as if he doesn’t know what else to say.

Myungsoo exhales shakily as he unbuckles his seatbelt. His fingers are trembling but he manages to do it.

“Thanks for the meal and ride, it was nice seeing you again.” He opens the door and leaves, walking for the elevator.

The sun has already set.There are very few people in the building. None of them seem to mind his presence there. He keeps on walking, wandering about the halls until he feels tired. He slumps on the floor and sits there for a while.

He feels numb deep inside and doesn’t realize tears streaming out of his face again out of frustration. He keeps on thinking why do things never go his way and how unfortunate it is to be one step closer to a dream coming true until he gets pulled back to the starting line. He kicks the wall in front of him and again and again until he bends his foot at the wrong angle. It hurts. 

“So, you done damaging your foot? Because if you were aiming to damage the wall, you’ll have to learn how to kick, buddy.” He looks up he finds Sungyeol leaning against the wall.

“Go away.”

“You look like you’re having a bad time.”

“Fuck you.” He spits, a bit too harsh but he doesn’t give a damn anymore.

“Look-”

“Just fucking go away. I don’t want to see you.”

“Neither do I, but when you’re sitting in the middle of the hallway kicking the wall, it’s kind of hard to avoid, you know?”

“Fuck, just leave me alone! What the fuck do you want?”

“Now that you’re making me go, then I’m not leaving.” Sungyeol says as he slumps to the ground beside him.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“What the fuck is wrong with  _ you _ ?”

Myungsoo exhales shakily, and his hands are clenched so hard he feels his nails digging into his palm. His knuckles are as white as snow and he knows he’s visibly shaking. He wants to punch Sungyeol, land a nice one in that fucking pretty face and knock him down.

So he does.

The moment Myungsoo lands his fist on Sungyeol’s jaw, the older man lets out a curse and hits the back of his  head on the wall. It doesn’t take long until Sungyeol lunges at Myungsoo and punches him back until they both end up half sprawled in the hallway punching and kicking each other. Sungyeol avoids Myungsoo’s punches as he pins Myungsoo on the ground, knees digging at Myungsoo’s stomach. Myungsoo tries to choke Sungyeol and the older male’s grip on him loosens, making him reverse their position. Myungsoo’s just punches Sungyeol when he feels large hands grabbing him away from him. He looks up to see it’s a guard, and there’s another man also pulling at Sungyeol.

In the end, they wind up in an empty office room. Sungyeol’s face is bruised in some parts and his head is tilted back in the chair because his nose is bleeding. Myungsoo’s lip is split and he’s pretty sure he’s bruised too. Sungyeol’s manager is the only authority there. Sungyeol is sitting halfway across the room while Myungsoo is sitting on the other side. Sungyeol’s manager, who introduces himself as Sunggyu earlier, stands in the middle with his arms crossed in his chest.

“I know you dislike each other but seriously? A fist fight inside the company building? What are you, high school students?” he reprimands them. He looks really pissed and his eyes are almost gone from his face. Myungsoo sinks in his seat.

“I’d rather not let the CEO know about this, but Sungyeol’s face is bruised and there’s only so much makeup can only help. He’s going to need to appear on the set with that face. What the hell were you two thinking?”

“But hyung, he started it-” Sungyeol begins but Sunggyu shoots him down with a glare.

“It doesn’t matter who started it, Sungyeol. Both of you are old enough now and you should’ve settled your issues by speaking, diplomatically, as adults. You’re the older one in this, you know better.”

After Sunggyu talks to them, he sends Myungsoo to go home and sleep. He zips his hoodie up and walks alone to his place. By the time he reaches his bed, he’s already half asleep and his body is begging for rest.

-

When he wakes up the next morning, his body feels worse than it should’ve and he’s got a splitting headache. 

He manages to pull himself away from the bed and go to the bathroom. He sees his wrecked face in the mirror. It’s bad. He’ll probably get a scolding for it, but he remembers that his face isn’t even needed in his new job anymore. He’s not an idol, and he will probably never be one, at this rate.

Yesterday’s events resurface and he ends up puking in the sink.

Everything is just fucked up. His head is full of clutter and pain. His future seems like an obscure mass that cannot be distinguished or deciphered. 

He decides to stay inside his small room for the next few days since he doesn’t have any recording sessions, and he doesn’t feel like leaving at all. Dongwoo texts him to ask how he’s been and if he’s okay (apparently, he heard of the fight) but aside from that nothing happens. He lies down on his bed for most of the day and eats a small amount of food. It’s something that he’s been accustomed to as a trainee and bad habits die hard.

A few days pass like that. 

Finally, one morning he decides that he’s ready to try and fix his mess; he takes a bath and goes out. He doesn’t have recording that day, but he still goes to the company after making himself look half decent. He finds Sungjong in one of the practice rooms and excuses him.

“What happened to your face?” is the first thing he says after seeing Myungsoo. It’s not as bad as it first looked like the night he fought with Sungyeol, and his split lip had healed somewhat.

“I got into a fight.”

“Jesus. Put some ointment on it.”

“You should’ve seen the other guy.”

“Oh. So what’s up, hyung?”

“You’re debuting.” He says, and Sungjong sighs. He runs his fingers through his hair and looks apologetically at Myungsoo.

“Yes. Me and the rest.” He admits and Myungsoo leans on the wall behind him. The air is thick between them and Myungsoo knows Sungjong is nervous.

“I know how much you wanted to debut, hyung. Out of all of us, you’re the one who wanted it the most and that’s undeniable. I should’ve convinced you more to not sign that contract. If you didn’t then you would’ve debuted with us. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, it wasn’t your fault.”

“Technically, it is.” He shakes his head as if he disagrees with something; “I knew the timing was just fishy but… I…”

“—I didn’t come here to hear you blame yourself, Sungjong. So don’t.”

“Is that why you got into a fight? Because of the debut?”

“Kinda..” Myungsoo admits and he sighs.

They don’t speak for a few moments and just stand there in silence.

“Who did you fight with, anyway?” Sungjong breaks the silence.

“Lee Sungyeol.”

Sungjong raises an eyebrow in him in interest.

“How did  _ that  _ happen?”

“I was upset, and I was kicking the wall in the hallway. He was there, and he kept trying to get under my skin , and provoking me. So we fought.”

“I didn’t know you had a violent side.”

“Well, you don’t know me enough, then.”

Someone calls Sungjong’s name from inside the practice room and he shoots a quick glance.

“Will you go to the debut showcase? I know that you might not want to, and it’s okay. But it will mean a lot if you did go.” Sungjong asks him as he opens the door to the practice room.

“I’ll consider it.”

“Thanks hyung.”

Myungsoo intends on going to a coffee shop just outside the building when he bumps into the least person he wants to see that day.

Sungyeol is there, and he’s wearing casual clothes like a runway model. His face looks like Myungsoo didn’t even land a fist in there, and his hair is up. He stands tall and confident.

Maybe because Myungsoo spent his time on his toes next to the other male that he doesn’t notice how idol-like Sungyeol’s whole presence is. He’d easily pass as a visual in a boy group had he been an idol.

Myungsoo honestly doesn’t want another fight, so he starts in the opposite direction, when Sungyeol calls him out.

“Where do you think you’re going?” 

He doesn’t stop walking and picks up his pace. Sungyeol easily catches up to him, probably because of his freakishly long legs and corners Myungsoo in the hallway.

“I asked, where do you think you’re going?”

“I’m going out.”

“Out where?”

“Outside.”

“Shouldn’t you apologize to me first?” Sungyeol prods, raising an eyebrow.

Myungsoo sighs and looks at the taller man.

“Fine. I’m sorry. I was just really upset that day and you provoked me. This is the first and only time you’ll only ever hear me apologize to you. Now, if you’ll just excuse me…” he pushes Sungyeol aside and begins walking towards the elevator. Sungyeol doesn’t stop following him though and walks silently beside him.

“Why are you following me?” he asks him.

“I’m not following you.”

“Don’t you have a drama to shoot or something?”

“I do, but I still have time.”

“Use your time to rest then.”

“I already napped.”

Sungyeol follows him even as he leaves the building. He notices Sungyeol put on a face mask and sunglasses as he follows him. He’s about to enter the coffee shop when Sungyeol pulls him back.

“You do not want to drink coffee there. I know a better place.”

“Why do you care?”

“Come on, the coffee here is crap. And it tastes like wet paper. You need good coffee to have a good day. I know a place nearby.”

“But I want to drink here!”

“But you’re not going to drink here.!”

“What the hell is your problem, Sungyeol—” Myungsoo tries to push off Sungyeol’s arm off of him, but the other suddenly draps his arm on his shoulders. His grip is tight and uncomfortable.

“Just go with it.”

Sungyeol brings him to a small coffee shop a few streets away. The smell inside is amazing and relaxing. Sungyeol drags him to a table near the back, slightly hidden from view. When Sungyeol returns he holds 2 cups of coffee and hands one to Myungsoo.

“Better with 3 sugar cubes.” Sungyeol says as he sits down on the chair adjacent to Myungsoo’s.

“3 sugar cubes and a drop of cyanide? How much did you already mixed into it?” Myungsoo raises a suspicious eyebrow.

“Why would I?”

“Come on Sungyeol.  _ You _ hate  _ me. _ Why are you suddenly being nice and bringing me here?”

“It’s called being civil.”

“So, buying me coffee and being suddenly all-” he gestures “-this, whatever the hell this is - is the definition of civil to you?”

“So you’d think.” Sungyeol simply responds as he begins to dump sugar cubes on his coffee.

“What’s the catch Sungyeol? Seriously speaking.”

“Why can’t you stop being suspicious? I told you I’m being civil. Sunggyu told me I was acting like a spoiled child.”

“Well, you were.”

“...and I think that I should be a better person and… try another approach. Hence, being civil. Besides, you’re doing a huge favor for me.”

“I’m totally surprised. I didn’t know I would live to hear that from you.”

“Well, you have.”

Sungyeol shrugs and continues drinking his coffee. Myungsoo nods towards him and takes a sip of his coffee too.

-

Sungyeol actually starts acting nice towards him, after that. 

There’s still some hostility, but mostly coming from Myungsoo, out of habit. 

Dongwoo is surprised the next recording session; Sungyeol is present and the animosity in the room is kept to the bare minimum. In fact he even brings coffee for Dongwoo  _ and  _ Myungsoo. It’s such a quick change in the pacing of things that Dongwoo thinks the world must be ending.

They don’t bicker a lot now either, and Sungyeol spends less time with them because the shooting for his drama has begun. But on days where Sungyeol is present, he can’t help but notice that Sungyeol is making less and less remarks about and towards him and mostly he’s just there to watch.

It makes Myungsoo insecure somewhat. He’s so used to Sungyeol behaving like an arrogant shit, that when he stops, he feels like there is something wrong, or something lacking. He notices Sungyeol intently watching him through the glass panel, nodding every now and then.

It also doesn’t help the fact that now that they’re not busy being at each other’s throats, he starts noticing things about Sungyeol - things that he never noticed before.  Like how he’s more on the lean side instead of skinny, or how Sungyeol has a lot of moles on the visible parts of his body. How fun Sungyeol is when he’s lightly bantering; he has a bunch of witty responses and side comments about everything and everybody around him. How Sungyeol’s eyes look so sad and how they become sparkly when he cries (he made Myungsoo read lines for him one time to practice a scene) and how acting is so natural for him, like how singing is for Myungsoo.

Every time he finds himself lost in those tiny details, Myungsoo slaps himself to reality, and he finds himself doing that a lot.

At the moment, Sungyeol’s sitting beside him. It’s one of those rare days when he’s there. There’s a script in his left hand and a highlighter in his right. He stops every now and then to highlight a passage. They’re inside one of the recording rooms waiting for Dongwoo to arrive from an important short appointment. Myungsoo needs to record a new song that’s been hastily added to the script, and he’s currently studying it in his hands. However, Sungyeol’s presence is somewhat distracting. He shifts in his seat uncomfortably.

“What’s wrong?” Sungyeol looks up from his script.

“Nothing...?” He tries to straighten the lyrics sheet in his hand. 

“You can’t settle in your seat. It’s diverting my attention.”

Myungsoo settles for a huff and runs the lyrics through his mind again. He’s humming when Sungyeol’s phone rings and he picks it up.

“You’ve seen me last week, what do you want?” Sungyeol answers in a resigned yet affectionate tone. Myungsoo feigns disinterest and trains his eyes on the page he’s holding.

“I can’t I’m busy doing stuff. Stuff! Like memorizing my script.” Sungyeol stays silent on the phone, then chuckles. Myungsoo tries to look at Sungyeol from the corner of his eye.

“Don’t assume I love you  _ that much,  _ just a bare minimum.”

He’s totally  _ not _ eavesdropping, but he suddenly can’t concentrate on anything but the conversation beside him. Sungyeol is playing with the corner of the page of his script.

“Okay, okay fine Mijoo. I’ll meet you there. Bye. I’ll drop the-- why do you act like such a nagging wife! Fine, bye, hang up now.” Sungyeol’s still got that content expression when he ends the call and Myungsoo acts like he didn’t heard anything.

“I’m taking off now.” Sungyeol says as he collects his stuff.

“Okay.” Well, what else was Myungsoo supposed to say? He wants to ask who is this Mijoo girl and why is she a  _ nagging wife _ to Sungyeol and why are they meeting up and why is Sungyeol so eager to meet her even though they saw each other last week and why doesn’t he love her  _ that much  _ or does he? What did he even mean by that? But Myungsoo thinks it's not his place to ask so he only manages a small wave when Sungyeol leaves the room with a smile.

Shortly after Sungyeol leaves, Dongwoo arrives. He’s bouncing on his feet like the sunshine that he is and makes Myungsoo warm up his vocals. The thought of the Mijoo girl and Sungyeol leaves his train of thoughts for a while.

It’s taken them hours to finish the recording and Myungsoo’s voice is strained. Dongwoo advises him to go home and do vocal rest and lets him off shortly after. He stops by a convenience store before going back to his place so he can have some food. He settles for a pack of ramen and kimbap for dinner, since he remembers missing it. He didn’t eat a lot of delicious food when he was still a trainee, and the measly amount he got wasn’t helping either.

When he’s full and sleepy he cleans up, changes into a loose shirt and boxers and lies down on the bed. He checks his phone. There aren’t much, just a text from his mom asking him how he’s been. He sends back a decent blanket statement for his state and tells her not to worry about him and that he’s eating well. Then he asks about her and his dad and Moonsoo. He hasn’t told them about his separate contract now and he doesn’t know how he’ll say it so he tries to not open a topic about him that would lead to that.

He’s about to put his phone aside and sleep when he remembers Sungyeol from earlier, so he taps on his phone and fires up the search engine. He types in Mijoo in the search bar and it shows a long haired woman with stunning features. She looks really beautiful, and Myungsoo clicks on the first link on the page. It’s a wikipedia page of Lee Mijoo. She’s a renowned model who already walked on a lot of runways both locally and internationally, and she’s also known for her outstanding variety skills on several famous shows which is in contrast with her strict high end lifestyle as a model.

Myungsoo moves back to the search bar and types in ‘Mijoo Sungyeol’ and before he can even stop himself the page has already loaded and the results pile in. He opens a few links, mostly speculations, dating rumors, probably because of the amount of times they’ve been seen together. There are pictures of them walking out from a restaurant with Sungyeol’s hand protectively placed on Mijoo’s back while he’s leading them out, there’s also another one where they are caught laughing at something while walking on the sidewalk of dimly lit street, Mijoo has her hoodie up while Sungyeol is wearing a black cap and a mask but you can easily recognize him from that angle.

It looks like dispatch photos of two people caught having a midnight date downtown. It looks natural, they look happy together and you’d feel nothing but happy for them.

Myungsoo’s totally  _ not _ jealous or sad. He’s not. It must be his tired vocal chords making him feel stuff. He turns off his phone and pulls at his blanket a little too hard than normal and if he doesn’t sleep as quick as he usually does especially when he’s not tired, it’s definitely not because he keeps thinking about how he and Sungyeol are in different levels on the food chain. There’s a bitter taste in his mouth when he finally falls asleep.  

 

-

When Myungsoo arrives at the company building a few days later he doesn’t expect Sungyeol to be there, waiting for him in the room. Myungsoo wonders why the latter is there when he’s pretty sure the production and shooting for the drama already started and Sungyeol should be there doing his scenes and lipsyncing to his voice, not here inside the recording room with someone beside him, someone whose face is familiar--  _ oh. _

Sungyeol is wearing ripped jeans and a light blue button up. Lee Mijoo is sitting beside him, looking like she just stepped out of a magazine spread, dolled up in a light pink turtleneck dress and black heels. Now that Myungsoo sees them side by side like that they look perfect together, and it makes Myungsoo want to run away and hide forever and never show his face again.

There’s actually no sense to these negative emotions, because he has no reason to feel them. He’s just Sungyeol’s ghost singer. Nothing more. Sungyeol’s just obliged to treat him nicely and always be there for him so that all will go well for the drama. They’re not even friends? And if Sungyeol is in a relationship then who is he to feel all awkward and uncomfortable about it? It’s not as if having a girlfriend changes things between them. Sungyeol’s still the same, Myungsoo’s still the same. At least, he tries to convince himself of that.

“Hi! She insisted on coming today to watch you. I hope it’s not a bother? She promised to be as quiet as a mouse..” Sungyeol explains as he stands up to Myungsoo and he gives a meek nod with his hand scratching his neck. Mijoo stands up too and Myungsoo notes the height difference between the two. That’s just  _ cute. _

“I’m Lee Mijoo.” She extends her hand and he accepts it.

“I’m Kim Myungsoo.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard a LOT about you.” She says as she shoots Sungyeol a look that Myungsoo can’t decipher.

“I hope it’s all good things?”

“Don’t worry, it’s actually very  _ very nice  _ things.” Mijoo smiles as Sungyeol pulls her down to sit again.

Mijoo seems curious to the things happening around the recording studio and asks a question every now and then. She also seems curious about other things; she inquires about stuff like Myungsoo’s favorite past time or his favorite movies. Myungsoo’s eyes doesn’t escape the way Mijoo is hitting Sungyeol’s arm whenever she laughs and half bends over him. It probably would be so comedic and cute, to other people but to Myungsoo?  Just leaves a bitter taste in his mouth (no, he’s not feeling any form of emotion that starts with the letter J and rhymes with fallacy) and Sungyeol’s apologetic face isn’t helping at all.

They get that day’s work done and Sungyeol half-drags Mijoo away with him as they leave. Mijoo invites Myungsoo with them for some coffee but he declines. He already feels like a third wheel as it is, he doesn’t want it to become a reality show as well, with cameras following these two everywhere, showing him as the awkward friend that tagged along.

He sighs as he runs his hands through his hair and slumps on the chair. Dongwoo whistles as he makes his seat twirl. He looks like he wants to say something, but he’s taking his sweet time with it.

“Want to go out for some drinks? My treat.” Dongwoo offers and he can’t say no to Dongwoo. Who would say no to Dongwoo? Not when he’s the nicest person to literally everybody in this planet.

They go to some nice bar on the other side of the district and Dongwoo keeps on shoving drinks on his hands. He drinks the expensive drinks while they sit in front of the bartender’s counter.

“You seem upset.” Dongwoo says, and Myungsoo can sense the carefulness in the tone.

“I’m not.” He quickly replies.

“Is there something wrong with your voice, we might be overworking it because you keep--”

“No, my voice is fine, hyung, don’t worry.”

“Is it because of Sungyeol?”

He stops drinking and his eyes widen like a deer caught in the headlights. He recovers after a moment then gobbles down his  shot and puts down the glass.

“No. I don’t know?” and that’s true. Whatever this is about Sungyeol that he’s suddenly feeling weird about gives him no idea with anything. It’s like being in the dark. You can feel things poking you but you can’t see them and you don’t know where they are and will be next.

“I was kind of surprised he suddenly warmed up to you and things were going so well, for a while...  and today... you’re kinda, how do I put it into words, had been aloof around him?”

“I was totally not aloof.”

“You were, and when Mijoo asked you stuff you sounded down. Is it because of Mijoo? If it means anything to you, I don’t think they’re dating.” Dongwoo continues. He almost falls out of the bar stool. If he wasn’t guilty looking enough earlier,  he is now.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s nothing, and what I feel about them shouldn’t matter either.” He says that too quickly, as if he’s a mouse caught in a trap. He doesn’t even know how Dongwoo could see through him like that. Was it obvious on his face that he might have an  _ inkling _ of interest towards Sungyeol? Myungsoo’s not blind. Sungyeol’s attractive, and nice enough once you get past the ugly fights they used to have in the beginning, and actually you get to know him. 

Mijoo is someone who's actually in Sungyeol’s level, and if they’re in a relationship, then it’s totally okay because they fit each other like puzzle pieces. Sungyeol is an attractive man and Mijoo is an attractive woman, people would definitely want to see them together. Who the fuck would care about a ghost singer feeling bad about it? No one.

“You matter, Myungsoo. Remember that. We’re all walking on the same ground and breathing the same air, we are all equals. Don’t ever let anybody make you feel otherwise,  and don’t lose hope.” Dongwoo gives him a look full of pity and a pat on the shoulder as he asks for more of what they’re drinking.

Myungsoo wonders what had he blurted out loud that made Dongwoo reply that. 

As he continues drinking, more and more thoughts plague his mind and the realization that he  _ really does have  _ feelings for Sungyeol makes him want to just bury himself and hide for the rest of his life, .

He doesn’t know even if the feelings for Sungyeol is something that had been there when he was sober, or the alcohol talking. 

In the end, he concludes that feelings and self pity fucking sucks, together or not.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are highly appreciated! You can talk to me on twitter [here!](https://twitter.com/sandriyeols)


	3. The Collapse

Myungsoo didn’t think that he’ll ever live to see Lee Sungyeol at his place. Ever.

But there he is, standing by the door, looking around.

“You need to brighten up the a little. Like, a little potted plant or something.” He comments as he points to one of the corners in the studio apartment.

“What are you doing here?”

Myungsoo had just woke up. He’s wearing nothing but his boxer shorts and an old ratty, flimsy shirt he haphazardly wore after hearing the knock on the door. He still hasn’t brushed his teeth either, and he’s pretty sure his hair looks like  a bird’s nest. Meanwhile, Sungyeol looks like he came straight from a runway. He’s wearing black pants and an expensive yellow knitted sweater and his hair is down. A rich person’s casual attire.

“I had Sunggyu ask around for your address. I thought I should pay a visit or something. I knew you didn’t have anything to do for today so I brought us food.” Sungyeol points at the takeout cartons neatly placed on the table.

“Wouldn’t your girlfriend be mad that you’re here on your day off?”

“My girlfriend?”

“Lee Mijoo? Rings any bells?”

“Yeah, that’s just publicity. We like fucking around with the press, _not literally,_ but you know—mess with them? Mijoo and I are good friends, but nothing more.” Sungyeol explains.

Myungsoo exhales deeply, as if he’s been holding his breath. Fuck, he hopes it wasn’t too noticeable.

“Oh - so you being here won’t make _anybody_ mad?”

“Nope- if we’re not counting Sunggyu - no one.” Sungyeol says with a silly grin. He’s leaning on the wall, with a small pout on his face.

Myungsoo remembers his own state.

“Can you excuse me for a moment? I just woke up, so I look and smell like crap. I need a moment to collect myself. Feel free to sit wherever you want, though. I just cleaned up yesterday - so, um, no worries, if you’re a stickler for cleanliness... and stuff.” He rubs his head, then makes a break for the bathroom once Sungyeol gives his approval with a nod.

He brushes his teeth and changes to decent clothing. He also combs his hair down into a more acceptable form and when he gets out of the bathroom Sungyeol has already set out the food.

It’s all brunch food, along with coffee for two. Myungsoo’s mouth waters at the smell. He plops down beside Sungyeol. They eat rather quietly, probably because they’re both starved, making small approving sounds. The sun shines through the window but it’s not that hot either, which makes it nice.

“That was nice!” Sungyeol remarks as he clears out the takeout boxes and puts them in the trash bin.

“Yeah, it was. The pancakes were delicious.”

“They were, weren’t they! They’re my favorite. I thought you’d like them, too.”

When Sungyeol says things like that - it makes Myungsoo’s stomach make a flip, like a diver jumping towards a pool 10 feet above the ground. Sungyeol _cares_ whether he’d like a pancake or not. It’s so stupidly thoughtful.

“So what do you do on your ‘days off’?” Sungyeol quotes with his two fingers in the air while Myungsoo continues cleaning up.

“Nothing much. I sleep, walk outside, eat, read a book, practice singing, dancing and stuff like that.”

“Don’t you miss it?”

“Miss what?”

“The rigorous and painstaking life of a trainee. Don’t you miss it?”

“Sometimes I do. It’s still my dream after all. To debut in a group and make music. I want everyone in korea to talk about my music, too. To guess what I’ll do next, to anticipate it and—” He cut off to a bitter pause, when remembers the other trainees how close they are to that dream. How ironic.

“That’s a good dream. Not everybody are that goal driven” Sungyeol remarks, but looks uncomfortable in his seat. Myungsoo raises an eyebrow at him.

“Is anything the matter?”

“I want to be honest with you.” Sungyeol straightens, back tense..

“Okay…?”

“I hope you don’t get mad at me or something after hearing what I have to say. I think you deserved the truth, anyway.”

“Tell _me_.” He almost orders. Now he’s just plain curious and impatient.

“When we met the first time - I didn’t mean to come off harsh. I just thought you didn’t sound like me — And to be fair, Dongwoo coached you, and I was surprised to find that with a little probing it started to sound like it’s me singing.”

“Are you going to apologize for being a jerk?”

“Well - I didn’t like you, because you did act like a bit of a brat. Not because of your voice. I wanted you to know that. I see a lot of trainees nowadays think they’re next Michael Jackson, just for existing. You’re not like that, I get it now.”

“Apology accepted.”

Sungyeol frowns; “No— that’s — Well, yeah, that too but… that day, when I came to patch things up with you— That wasn’t some run of the mill decision I had. I felt like I had to do it because I felt bad.” Sungyeol gulps and Myungsoo can see the unspoken words in subtitles in front of them. _I felt bad for you._

“You see, when I asked around because I wanted to get to know who I was working with, I found out you were a trainee for a long time now, you had so much experience and potential behind your back, you outshone the rest. Among that information I also found out that the company didn’t just randomly choose you for this. They found this as a perfect opportunity for you to stay in the company while they debut their new boy group.  Ideally, without you, the group would be better. You just didn’t fit in. The CEO still wanted you here because of your skills but the board wanted a younger team.” Sungyeol is looking at him like he’s waiting for a response but Myungsoo’s throat feels so dry. He needs water. He fumbles for a water bottle in the refrigerator and drops it. He bends down to pick it up but the bottle falls again from his grip and he sits down on the floor. He feels numb. Sungyeol moves towards him, albeit slow and cautious, and lays a hand on Myungsoo’s shoulder.

“Yeah, that makes sense. It fits. I sort of felt like the timing was fishy - because of my age, and I just...” He says, but even to his own ears he sounds defeated.

Sungyeol gingerly hugs him, his touch soft.

Myungsoo slumps against him. Sungyeol is warm against him, and his scent fills his nose. When Sungyeol lets him go, Myungsoo gets up from the floor.

“You deserve better Myungsoo. The company is shit towards you, and I just… I’m sorry, man. You deserve only good things in your life. You’re a great person. A good person. You don’t deserve this kind of treatment.” Sungyeol’s words are like a giant quilt of what seems to be comfort and it offers a bit of relief on him. He still feels so shitty, and he just wants to lie down and sleep it all off. Sungyeol must notice that Myungsoo is no longer in a hospitable mood, so after a while he bids Myungsoo goodbye and closes the door after him.

Sungyeol must’ve said something to Dongwoo because later on that day he receives a text that says his whole week is cleared of schedule and that he should ‘make use of this rest to reconcile his roots and preserve his vocals until further notice’ whatever that was supposed to mean.

He spends the rest of the week sleeping and eating, and doing nightly runs around the neighborhood alone. He sprints quickly, hoping that if he runs a lot he’ll outrun his problems and all the shitty situation he’s currently in.

Sungyeol keeps him preoccupied, half of the time.

Sungyeol began texting him two days after he talked to Myungsoo, and it was to rant about the current set situation on his drama.

 **They called me in for a 5am shoot but when I got here no one was around.** (5:32 am)

 **Is this a prank?** (5:33 am)

 **I’m currently looking around for hidden cameras. I might be getting prank’d.** (5:35 am)

 **Update: no hidden cameras, but staff are beginning to arrive.** (5:47 am)

 **I didn’t want to be a total diva so I’m pulling off some amazing passive aggression around them. I’m a genius.** (6:29 am)

At first Myungsoo didn’t know who it was because it was an unregistered number. He had no real friends outside who would text him about whatsoever, and he thought it was a mistake. Someone might’ve wrong sent him some messages. He ignored the texts but came noon, he finally knew who it was.

 **Are you ignoring my texts of despair Myungsoo???!! How could you?** (12:25 pm)

He sends a _who is this?_ Not even a minute later he receives a response.

 **This is Sungyeol! I thought you already figured it out!!** (12:28 pm)

Ever since then Sungyeol would keep on sending him updates about his shooting, usually when he gets a break and Myungsoo humors him. He asks about the things Myungsoo’s doing when he’s locked away, safely,  in his apartment and they make witty banter, crafting remarks through texts. It keeps Myungsoo distracted somewhat, and he can feel Sungyeol’s sincere attempt at cheering him up. The man is busy but he tries to make time to reply to Myungsoo’s horrible joke about the difference between ramen with egg and udon. That’s gotta count as effort.

Within a few days, Myungsoo feels closer more than ever to Sungyeol as they get to know each other and it makes Myungsoo feel better somewhat. It makes him feel like he’s back in middle school again and he’s having a fun time chatting with his classmates and friends. It’s so hard to maintain relationships when you’re a trainee, and Myungsoo hasn’t felt anything like this for a long time.

 _Don’t you have other people to text too? Friends?_ (12:27 am)

He asks Sungyeol on one of those nights that Sungyeol is shooting for the drama and Myungsoo is keeping him awake.

 **There are some, but they’re also as busy as I am. Probably asleep at this hour too. They can’t be bothered.** (12:33 am)

 _Surely they can. You’re Lee Sungyeol!_ (12:34 am)

 **I don’t think that’s how it works.** (12:36 am)

 _Girls are literally begging to see your shadow. People would kill to have a word with you even if it’s 3 in the morning._ (12:40 am)

 **Are you one of those people?** (12:43 am)

 _I’m already talking to you now, so I have no aspirations left. Plus, I’m not a fan._ (12:45 am)

 **I’m hurt. My ego is hurt and bleeding after it found out that you are not a fan!** (12:48 am)

 **How come you’re not a fan!!!** (12:49 am)

 **Have you even watched a single drama of mine????** (12:50 am)

 _I think I’ve watched at least one movie._ (12: 55 am)

 **You’re unbelievable.** (12:57 am)

 _At least 90% of the whole country population still loves you though._ (1:00 am)

 **But you’re not a fan! I can’t believe this. Don’t you like me?** (1:05 am)

 _I like you_ (1:06 am)

Myungsoo realizes what he just sent and quickly types on his phone.

 _I mean yeah you’re nice_ (1:06 am)

 **Then wHY ARE YOU NOT A FAN!!!!** (1:08 am)

 _How about this, I’ll watch a few stuff, and then we’ll see._ (1:09 am)

 **Fine.** (1:08 am)

-

The week after that, he watches some of Sungyeol’s movies when he done with recording. Through Dongwoo’s company connections he’s able to get a digital copy of the movies in HD as long as he doesn’t leak them, and when he gets home he immediately switches to comfy clothes and plugs the flash drive in the extra laptop Dongwoo lent him.

It’s been awhile since Myungsoo watched anything of Sungyeol - or to be fair, any drama, at the very least. Trainee life left no space for regular spacing out on the couch while watching some sappy drama, or to have a day off at the movies with some friends. He can’t even remember the last time he’s actually went out with people who he can call friends. Middle school?

He’s got 3 movies in the drive and he hits play on the first movie.

It’s slightly old, probably when Sungyeol was just starting to become big in the acting scene. He’s got permed hair and thinly framed glasses, and it’s a romantic comedy about a smart but socially inept college student who meets the ideal girl of his dreams that he has been dreaming of meeting since he was 8. Sungyeol acts all socially awkward, and it turns out really cute. He’s thin and lanky, and his skin is tan, but Myungsoo thinks it just adds charm to Sungyeol. He looked really natural and relatable as he delivers his lines, and Myungsoo is starting to fully see what the people like about Sungyeol so much.

The second one is much more recent, and Sungyeol is acting as a loan shark. He’s got his hair up and he dons a white button up with a black vest, along with black pants. It suits him so well and he suddenly looks so mature that Myungsoo has trouble believing that it’s the same person. Sungyeol’s acting is remarkably better in this movie, and when Myungsoo looks it up on wikipedia, he scrolls on what seemed to be award after award that the movie got, along with Sungyeol’s numerous _best actor_ wins. The plot’s not cliche and the way Sungyeol’s mouth curves as he make his costar Jihyun strip down her clothing makes Myungsoo’s palms sweaty.  Myungsoo can’t stop staring at the pale long neck in the screen whenever Sungyeol would gulp, those long fingers are truly calling out to him.

He’s munching on crackers when he plays the last movie, and it’s about Sungyeol playing a homosexual character. It’s set in the 90s, and Sungyeol’s character is in love with his girl bestfriend’s love interest, which makes it complicated for his character. Myungsoo gets so immersed in the movie that he was moved by a particular scene where Sungyeol is crying while running around the neighborhood at night that Myungsoo wants to reach out to the screen and hug Sungyeol until he stops crying over the guy in the movie. When he pauses for a bathroom break, he looks it up on his phone and finds out it’s Sungyeol’s best movie up to date and his acting alone received critical acclaim from critics. The movie has a rating of 95% in Rotten Tomatoes and an average rating of 9.5/10 - which totally blows Myungsoo’s mind. The site’s critical consensus even says that it’s nostalgic bittersweet meandering plotline along with Sungyeol’s acting versatility rounds up the whole movie. He’s beyond amazed at this point.

When he finishes the movie, he’d had a new level of amazement towards Sungyeol now and it feels like he hasn’t been appreciating Sungyeol much. People don’t like Sungyeol just because he’s handsome and girls don’t just swoon over him, when he bats his eyes. People like Sungyeol because he seems like the kind of guy you’d see helping an old woman cross the street, or someone who excels at pretty much everything that you can think of but at the same time you can see him alone sitting in the bench in the park, feeding the birds with a frown on his face. His image is that of a next door guy but with a hint of quirkiness. Everybody likes a quirky guy.

Myungsoo is buzzing even as he lies down in bed at 2 in the morning thinking about Sungyeol’s acting, Sungyeol’s movies, and Sungyeol’s long legs as he runs in Myungsoo’s mind.

-

 **[enter-talk] ACTOR LEE SUNGYEOL IS F*CKIN CRAZY** is the title of the featured HOT article on top of the Pann page at the moment. Inside it is another link, an article entitled **_Actor Lee Sungyeol’s Hidden Vocal Prowess, Unveiled in New Musical Drama!_ ** The article is simple, it states that Sungyeol’s hidden talent is about to be seen by everyone in his new drama and the rest is all talks about the plot and who are the other cast members. Everyone was talking about it when Myungsoo went to eat in the company cafeteria. He’s searched the keywords Sungyeol and Musical Drama after hearing it from one of the ladies talking on the table behind him. No one pretty much knew that Sungyeol could sing before this so it left everyone shaken up, and when Myungsoo went to Pann the comments about Sungyeol kept coming.

 _[+3,746, -286] what else can lee sungyeol not do???? everytime he does something he surprises us all the time_ _ㅋㅋㅋㅋ_ _seriously he is f*ckin crazy...._

_[+3,566, -90] 헐… this guy is no joke for realㅜㅜ_

_[+2, 898, -79] sungyeol-ah, let’s continue walking on the golden flower path!_

_[+2,753, -101] ah crazy… i wonder why he isn’t an idol if he knew how to sing in the first place though… he would easily be a visual with that tall figure and handsome face..._

_[+1,632, -28] my heart is fluttering so much at the idea of him singing that i can't sleep anymore!ㅜㅜㅜㅜ sungyeol oppa fighting!!!!_

_[+1,601, -5] i saw him in real life the other day, he was walking around my neighborhood and i was so shocked... my hands were shaking at how handsome he wasㅇㅇ...._

_[+955, -4] there's no other man like sungyeol… he’s so talented and amazing ㅠㅠㅠㅠ sungyeollie i love youㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ_

_[+918, -276] he sings too??? why does this sound too good to be true…..._

There were more comments down below but he stops reading when a notification pops up. He opens the message and it’s from Sungyeol.

 **I’m guessing that you’ve heard of it by now. I’m sorry.** (12:43 pm)

 _What’s there to be sorry for?_ (12:43 pm)

 **You’re probably thinking I’m a douchebag for taking credit of your voice.** (12:45 pm)

 **It’s not fair. I was assured they won’t make a huge deal out of it. They told me it wasn’t even going to be in the spotlight, but as always...** (12:45 pm)

 _It’s part of the deal I signed up for.  I can’t complain about any kind of publicity my voice gets; my voice is your voice now. I was there when I signed those papers and I wholly agreed to it. It’s not a big deal._ (12:49 pm)

 **It is for me. It’s unfair for you.** (12:51 pm)

 **Where are you now?** (12:52 pm)

 _In the company’s cafeteria. Why?_ (12:53 pm)

Sungyeol doesn’t reply for pretty long, so he goes back to his food. He’s figured it out already even before he signed that contract. Sungyeol will be the face behind his voice, of course something like this would happen and people would credit Sungyeol. He accepted that. It’s not like there’s anything else he can do about it either.

Just as he’s done eating, his phone lights up for a notification.

 **Go to the back door entrance.** (1:21 pm)

He follows Sungyeol’s instruction and when he steps out, he finds a sleek heavily tinted black car in front. The window rolls down and in the driver’s seat is Sungyeol.

“Get in, we’re busting you out of here.” Sungyeol beckoned.

Sungyeol opens the door of the shotgun seat for him and he gets inside. The car looks legitimately new and unused, or maybe Sungyeol is just a neat freak as he is.

“Where are we going?” He asks as he tries to inspect Sungyeol’s car without looking like a weirdo.

“I wanted to talk to you about the article.” Sungyeol replies, stern.

“I told you there was nothing to worry about. I agreed to that. Me.” He says defensively.

“They said that this kind of publicity won’t happen, but I guess I should’ve known better. This is showbiz.” Sungyeol rubs his face with his left hand and sighs.

“I knew that it would. I kind of expected it. It’s really nothing, because it’s a part of what I signed up for, Sungyeol. Don’t fret yourself over it.”

They stay quiet for several moments. Myungsoo doesn’t know what else to say and when he looks at Sungyeol from the corner of his eye it seems as if he’s thinking deeply of something. Myungsoo folds his hands in his lap.

“You’re not mad?” Sungyeol glances at him as he maneuvers the car and Myungsoo shakes his head.

“No, I’m not.”

“Upset?”

“I’m fine, Sungyeol.” he says and he hears a resigned sigh from Sungyeol. They stay silent for a few seconds until Sungyeol parks the car. Myungsoo is surprised to see that they’re in front of the company building again.

“Did you just drive us in circles?” He sounds incredulous, even to his own ears and Sungyeol gives him a small smile. The ride felt like it was an hour but it was probably just 10 minutes tops. Time pours slowly inside the car like lead.

“I told you I wanted to talk to you and see if you’re okay.”

“You didn’t need to drive here from wherever you were. You can text or call, you know.”

“But I wanted to.” Sungyeol declares and Myungsoo feels his cheeks burning up.

Sungyeol reaches out all of the sudden and with a blink of an eye, they’re kissing. Sungyeol leans down further, and there’s a snapping sound, and when he looks down he sees the now unbuckled seatbelt he put on earlier.

_Oh._

Sungyeol has this strange expression on his face and Myungsoo doesn’t know how to put it into words. But he can’t ignore the thick atmosphere inside the car, and also can’t bring himself to say anything. His gulp is so audible, he’s sure Sungyeol hears it. .

“So, I’m going now. Bye.” He probably looks lame as he says it but Sungyeol just nods at him. He already opens the door, but then there’s a grip on his arm and before he can even turn, Sungyeol’s already got his lips pressed against his. His lips are  warm and taste like coffee. Then it’s gone as quick as it comes.

“Okay, um.” Sungyeol says, “Bye.”

Of course, Myungsoo makes it out of the car in record time; he almost sprints back to the building.

-

They act like it never happened.  

Which is totally okay, in Myungsoo’s opinion. Because what’s there to say?

Some part of him wants to know why Sungyeol did that but another part is afraid to know. He doesn’t like this pressing nagging urge _to know_ , so he shoves it in the back of his head until further notice. He hopes it will never have to resurface again.

They continue texting each other about mundane things, and talk about almost everything except the _car incident_ as he calls it in his mind. Sungyeol still texts in that witty and quirky manner at random hours of the day and since Myungsoo’s got more time on his hands now, he’s almost always as quick as lightning when replying to him. He’s almost close to finishing the last of the songs needed for the drama, and as long as there are no changes, he’s free for the rest of the time.

Even though he has enough money from the ghost singing act, he decided on getting a job at the local physical music store near his place.

It wasn’t his best option ever, but it’s not like he has any choice.

His parents find out about everything a few days later, after the articles about Sungyeol’s voice keep preoccupying the public’s attention. Everybody are talking about Sungyeol’s miraculous voice. He never planned to keep it a secret for this long from his parents, he already  owes them a lot.

His voice is shaking when he tells them.

They don’t sound as disappointed as he thought they will be. They’re not angry. They mostly just sound sad. His mom cries because she feels bad her little baby was being used like that. They demand him to quit the company, immediately.

“Just come back home,” and “maybe you can go back studying, or work”. Myungsoo agrees.

All the money he made, he’s been saving, trying to make the most out of it while he’s still here, so he wouldn’t come home empty handed. He’s too old for second chances in the showbiz, so he should be realistic and actually do something with his life.

Despite the texts, he barely sees Sungyeol during his last few days.

He figures that his schedule is tight, with the shootings and all, and that’s okay with him. He totally needed some space from him both physically and mentally speaking.

He needs to try and get his head clear. Sungyeol comes to the company at least thrice after what happened in the car, but there wasn’t any long conversation between them since either he is busy recording or Sungyeol is needed elsewhere in the company for something. Sungyeol would spare him a smile or some small talk in the corridor but there would no more than that. Dongwoo, who has gone from vocal coach to recording manager to a friend, seems to sense something but if he does, he doesn’t pry. He offers Myungsoo pats on the back, though, and that seems to be quite enough for them. He’s probably waiting for Myungsoo to talk to him, but Myungsoo thinks that moment isn’t only his to share.

The hype about Sungyeol’s drama dies down a bit but not as much as he expected. Then again he realizes that this is _Sungyeol_ , and he’s different than most actors out there. The buzz about their company’s new boy group starts increasing, and he checks out twitter to see what’s the word on them. Someone’s posted some of the trainees’ profiles and stolen pictures of them walking outside the company or in a cafe. There’s a stolen picture of him from probably months ago and he’s in the expected list of trainees who will debut.

He wonders if they’ll be surprised when the find out they’re wrong.

It’s a Friday when he finishes recording the last song and after he holds out the last note he can feel the sense of finality in it. Dongwoo gives him a thumbs up for the last time and when he steps out of the booth he kind of expects Sungyeol to be there but he isn’t, so Myungsoo just waves it off in his head.

He told Dongwoo of his decision to leave and he tried to talk him out of it for a few times _(“All that talent and hardwork, Myungsoo. There is something you can do in here, and I’m sure the company would like to keep you”)_ but when he wouldn’t budge, so Dongwoo accepted it and told him to be happy.

On Saturday night the musical drama’s first episode airs and it hits the highest ever national viewership rating. When he’s at work in the music store that morning it was all everyone that talked about, from the college students passing through the aisles to the middle aged women looking for some albums. Myungsoo watches the first episode along with the whole country. Sungyeol carries an air of confidence in him when he pseudo-sings as if it’s his own voice, and Myungsoo can’t help but gape at the magic of editing. He knows it’s his voice because he can still feel the words in his lips, but there’s a tweak here and there and if you really only knew Sungyeol from the screen you’d really think it was him singing.

Everyone is going crazy online and if Sungyeol didn’t have the whole country at his fingertips, he has it now. He can see comments praising Sungyeol and the first episode being awesome and all that. Myungsoo feels happy to have contributed to it somewhat.

 **Congratulations to you, Myungsoo.** (10:48 pm)

The message is followed by a gif of kittens hugging while there’s a congratulations banner on top of them. Myungsoo loves cats, and ever since Sungyeol found out about it they keep on sharing cat pics and gifs. Sungyeol likes cats too, but he actually has a brown poodle named Aga. Sungyeol would occasionally send pictures of Aga to Myungsoo whenever he gets the chance and Myungsoo can’t help but fawn over her too.

 _Congratulations to you too! You were great. Totally loved that scene where you smashed your body in the pole, great stuff. Quality content._ (10:50 pm)

 **Harhar. I knew you’d find that funny, you lame cat.** (10:51 pm)

 _So you must be swimming in compliments now from your drama, don’t drown._ (10:52 pm)

 **I’ve always been swimming in compliments Myungsoo. You know I’m that great.** (10:53 pm)

 _You didn’t even try to be humble._ (10:54 pm)

Sungyeol sends a confidently shrugging man meme.

 **There’s a party tomorrow, for the success of the first episode. I’d like to invite you, since you’re technically part of the cast. You’re going to be my plus one.** (10:58 pm)

 _Don’t you have someone else to bring? Like Mijoo?_ (11:00 pm)

 **You don’t want to bring her when you’re going to dinner then drinking after. You do it once then never again.** (11:03 pm)

 **Come on nowww I know you don’t have anything for tomorrow night.** (11:04 pm)

 _I actually have something._ (11:05 pm)

 **Yeah what?** (11:06 pm)

 _I have to clean the bathroom and stock up on ramen._ (11:07 pm)

 **You’re not doing that tomorrow night. You’re coming with me. I’ll pick you up. Wear something casual.** (11:09 pm)

Sungyeol doesn’t take no for an answer apparently so he finds himself wearing his nicest plaid button down half tucked in jeans along with his best sneakers. He tried styling his hair too.  It’s 20 minutes after 6 when Sungyeol picks him up. Sunggyu, the manager, is the designated driver and he huffs a greeting when Myungsoo hops inside the car.

“Nice top.” Sungyeol snorts at his plaid top. Sungyeol knows about his obsession about plaid and has used it against him many times when they’re bickering on text.

“Plaid is nice. It never goes out of style.” Myungsoo retorted.

“ _Okay,_ Myungsoo.” Sungyeol pouts as he pulls his phone out of his pocket. Sungyeol’s wearing a plain red sweater and ripped jeans, which suits him so well.

There’s a sudden snapping sound, and when Myungsoo turns he’s realized that Sungyeol took a selca of them.

“We never had a picture together.” Sungyeol offers as an explanation and shifts his arm against him so both of them can be seen in the frame.

“Now, whose fault was that?” He teases.

“Smile for the camera!” Sungyeol leans in closer to Myungsoo for a bit and they take more pictures. Sungyeol sends some pictures in their chat for Myungsoo to save and he snorts saying he doesn’t need it. For some unbelievable reason Sungyeol chose a wacky photo of them and set it as his phone wallpaper and insists that Myungsoo do the same.

“We’re like, best friends now. Shut up and change your wallpaper.” Sungyeol urges him as he wrestles the phone out of his grip.

He does manage to change his wallpaper due to Sungyeol’s insistence before they arrive at the restaurant. The word best friend doesn’t slip away from his mind and he runs it in circles. Now that Myungsoo thinks of it, it’s reasonable and possible since both of them talk to each other a lot and Sungyeol is probably the closest thing he can call a friend, aside from Sungjong who he rarely sees anymore. Sungyeol has made it clear to him several times about this issue too and now that the word has slipped out it’s as if a cement was suddenly poured out at the edges, solidifying the title Best Friend on his chest.

Myungsoo thought Sunggyu was just going to drop them off and then go but he’s actually surprised to find Sunggyu walking in with them. They enter the place and are greeted by a group of about 30 people, more or less, all of which lit up when Sungyeol enters through the door. Sungyeol introduces him as _a friend_ and Myungsoo is welcomed properly and nicely by the staff around them. He spots Kim Saeron and Nam Woohyun there, Sungyeol’s co-stars, and he’s surprised that Nam Woohyun makes the effort to sit beside him. So now it’s Sungyeol, then him, then Nam Woohyun on his left. It’s kind of awkward, because he sees Woohyun assessing him from the corner of his eye. He fakes a cough.

“I’m Woohyun.” He finally introduces himself and extends a hand towards Myungsoo. He takes it out of courtesy and unsurprisingly, Woohyun’s hands are soft and there is the strapping scent of expensive masculine perfume. He knows Woohyun from the many commercials and endorsements he’s in; his face is almost on every building in Seoul. He introduces himself and remembers to call him hyung and sunbaenim since he’s is around Sungyeol’s age. He doesn’t know why he never got to call Sungyeol hyung, or he never called him using any honorific at all.

It’s different with Sungyeol.

Woohyun’s talking about many things and at the same time also keeps directing questions to Myungsoo. In a span of 15 minutes Woohyun manages to squeeze more answers out of him than Myungsoo would expect; and then Myungsoo found himself answering things like ‘do you like men or women more?’ and ‘are you single?’. His aura must have been emitting distress because when Sungyeol turns around back to them, he immediately swats away Woohyun’s hands away from the table.

“Stop harassing him, Woohyun!” Sungyeol exclaims.

“I’m not harassing him, I’m just entertaining your boyfriend while you talk to other people.” Woohyun rolls his eyes.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Sungyeol says a bit too sharply than probably intended and it slaps Myungsoo like a flat iron. Right. _Best friends._

Not that he expected anything else.

He’s the one who ran away from the car.

He’s the one who didn’t mention it afterwards too.  

“Why don’t you go sit beside Sunggyu or something?.”

Sungyeol looks like he’d rather be anywhere else on the planet right now, than here, beside Myungsoo, thighs touching.

Whether it’s the boyfriend remark or not is beyond Myungsoo right now. He’s been talking with Sungyeol so much the past few weeks, but he can never guess what’s going on in that pretty head of his.

“Okay, Sungyeol. Whatever you say, buddy. I’ll leave you guys, alone.” Woohyun raises his arms in defeat and gets up from the seat to sit with Sunggyu on the other side of the table. Myungsoo is able to catch muttering but only words like ‘boyfriend’ and ‘soon’ were able to pass through his ears.

“Sorry about Woohyun. He tends to be invasive.” Sungyeol looks sheepish, so Myungsoo lets it go and tells him its fine.

With the way Sungyeol quickly put down Woohyun’s idea of them being boyfriends, it makes Myungsoo want to skip the dinner and just go home.

All of the sudden, he feels like it was a dumb idea to come here, after everything that’s happened, like a fish out of water, like he doesn’t belong.

In a way, when he thinks of it - it’s for the best. He doesn’t know what to do or feel about what happened. His brain just forces a restart every time he tries to really think of it.

Maybe it would be better if the feeling of Sungyeol’s lips would be a one time experience, and with time a hazy memory in the back of his head. He should be happy that Sungyeol wants to stay friends. Best friends. Yes.

The dinner continues; pretty much everybody are having  fun and seem close with one another. The staff recall stories that happened on set or make fun of Saeron, since she’s the youngest out of all of them. Woohyun occasionally calls attention to himself by telling a story in an over exaggerated manner and Myungsoo can see from his seat Sunggyu who is covering his own face with his hands, as if he’s embarrassed with Woohyun. Sungyeol is buzzing beside him, laughing and smiling and slipping information about the person who’s talking, as if it’s very vital for Myungsoo to know all of them. Then he realized its Sungyeol’s way to include him. He decides to enjoy it, instead of being wrapped up with his unfounded angst. He can do that tomorrow.

A full stomach and more than a dozen shots later (half of it coerced by Woohyun, who he finds out is Sungyeol’s partner in crime), and he’s already inebriated. Good thing the whole restaurant is reserved for them because if anyone ever saw Woohyun half sprawled on Sungyeol’s manager’s lap while singing an ABBA song it would probably make it on the news. He’s pretty sure Woohyun’s had like, only 2 shots so far but he’s acting like he’s beyond wasted _which is a normal Woohyun thing_ , he hears Sungyeol whisper into his ear. He’s really buzzed, he doesn’t know what was the drink Woohyun handed him but it’s really strong, and it feels like there’s a light mist blocking his senses.

Sungyeol is way more wasted than Myungsoo, since he started to drink before him. His cheeks and nose are pink, and his eyes are half-lidded. He has an arm around him as he tells some noona staff a story that Myungsoo is way too sloshed to understand. He tells them that him and Myungsoo are company colleagues that used to bicker hard and even had a fist fight once. Sungyeol laughs and his mouth is stretched in a carefree way that makes Myungsoo smile. Myungsoo decides he likes Sungyeol’s laugh, and Sungyeol’s smile. The noona staff giggle at them and he tries to extract himself away from Sungyeol because he needs to go to the bathroom, but the more he resists, the more Sungyeol pulls him in.

“Sungyeol, I need to go to the bathroom!” it sounds like a whine when it comes out of his mouth.

“Fine, fine... be quick!” is the last thing he hears before he stumbles his way around the restaurant to look for the bathroom. One of the staff must’ve taken pity at his drunken stupor so he was pushed forward one of the mahogany doors and to his surprise there it is, the bathroom. Myungsoo internally cheers as he grips one of the sinks and begin heaving on it. He’s never drinking again.

When he’s done emptying his stomach, he washes his mouth with water and stays rooted to the sink for what seems like forever. He splashes his face with water, again and it makes him sober by 1.5 percent. He’s on his way out the bathroom when he hits a wall, but when he looks again it’s actually Sungyeol. His face is red from the alcohol and Myungsoo’s vision is kind of fuzzy but he can still see the unnamed expression in Sungyeol’s face.

“You said you were not going to take long.” Sungyeol wags his finger in front of Myungsoo’s face. Myungsoo can’t seem to remember if he actually said it but he doesn’t think its necessary in the situation if he does. His eyes trail across Sungyeol’s features intensely and before he can even say something that he would regret, he does something he possibly never thought he would be able to do while sober.

He grabs Sungyeol by his sweater, drags him into one of the nearest open stalls and when the door slams behind him he lunges forward Sungyeol for a hungry kiss. Sungyeol is startled at first but then reciprocates and begins to tug at Myungsoo’s hair. He pulls Sungyeol closer by the neck and it makes their bodies collide. The kiss is sloppy and wet, and Sungyeol’s mouth tastes like alcohol but he gives a rat’s ass about that - because Sungyeol’s lips are as soft as marshmallows and Myungsoo wants to remember it forever.

Their kisses are fervent, fast - almost painful and if for a moment Myungsoo pauses to catch a quick breathe, they immediately reconnect their lips.

He feels intense tremors through his nerves, like a lightbulb flaring to life every time somebody touches the switch. Sungyeol clings to him as he pulls him closer, _even_ closer together as if they’re going to melt and mold into one. Myungsoo asks for entrance in Sungyeol’s mouth and then their tongues are dancing, playing with fire, burning in the moment. Time suddenly ceased to exist for Myungsoo - and Sungyeol, his lips, his closed eyes, his shaky breath, his _everything_ was all that mattered and it’s the last thing Myungsoo remembers.

-

When Myungsoo wakes up the light that pierces his eyes is too bright and there is too much oxygen around him. There’s a headache punching through the walls of his head, and his mouth is as dry as a barren desert. It takes him what feels like an hour to actually open his eyes and manage to climb out of bed and drink water. He stands in front of the sink and heaves out contents of his stomach, which is mostly alcohol and food. So much for going out,  so much for letting Sungyeol invite him to that dinner, so much for Sungyeol— fuck, he kissed Sungyeol. He kissed him. No. He made out with him. Make out, with tongues and all. He made out _with_ Sungyeol. Inside the bathroom. He made out with _Sungyeol_ inside one of stalls in the bathroom.

He’s pacing back and forth as he keeps on repeating the same collection of words in his hungover head. When it finally sinks in that it happened, it totally happened - his stomach betrays him with a does a 360 degree twist and he’s throwing up in the sink. After rinsing his mouth he takes a deep breath and sits on the floor. He closes his eyes and performs a few breathing exercises, ones they used to do before vocal or dance practice.

Okay.

Fuck.

He tries to convince himself that it's okay. He inhales. It's not okay. He exhales. He clearly remembers it, but Sungyeol's probably drank more alcohol than him. Does that mean Sungyeol  won’t remember anything when he wakes up? He inhales again. What if he remembers? He exhales rather shakily. What if Sungyeol's disgusted by it? Myungsoo knows Sungyeol's played a homosexual role in a movie but that doesn't count. What if he's not playing for the same team? What if he's disgusted by it? Myungsoo shakes his head and does a few more breathing exercises. Then he realizes, what if Sungyeol won't even talk to him ever again, or just plain downright deny his existence in his life?

He’s the one who kissed him first in the car, though.

He hits his head on the wall, hard, and it hurts so bad it just intensified his headache, but fuck that. Hangover can wait for later. Before he regrets anything he dives for his phone in the pocket of the jeans he wore last night, and presses dial on Sungyeol's number. It rings five times before he hears a beep and there's a grunt on the other line.

"Uh... Sungyeol. Hi." He cringes at how awkward he sounds

"Myungsoo?" Sungyeol's voice is raspy on the other line, like he just woke up. Fuck.

"Yeah. Uh. I just called. To see. If you got home safely?" To his own ears it sounded like he was also convincing himself that Sungyeol's safety was the actual reason he called first thing in the fucking morning.

"I did. I'm at home right now." Sungyeol sounds like he'd rather be getting his body ran over by a train than talk to Myungsoo on the other line. Myungsoo shakily holds the phone.

"Oh. Okay."

"Yeah."

"Okay."

The call disconnects and it must be because Myungsoo either ran out of load or the almighty god of phone-calls and  communications took pity on Myungsoo.

In a matter of seconds his phone rings and its Sungyeol, so he immediately answers. His palms are sweaty as he answers the call. There’s a moderately long silence after Myungsoo answered, and he can hear Sungyeol breathing through the line.

“So, um, you got home safely too?” Sungyeol asks him with a snarky tone.

“Yeah. I took a cab. Remember?”

“Uh. Yeah.”

Then the call ends like that.

Nothing that happened in the past few minutes answered any of his questions about what happened between him and Sungyeol last night, and this is just eating him from the inside out. He paces around the kitchen for a few seconds, and decides that fuck it, fuck everything. He splashes water on his face, changes into outdoor clothes and leaves for Sungyeol’s place.

Sungyeol once made him guess and locate his apartment address via Google Maps, which sounded like a really stupid activity now, but it found use. Sungyeol lives in a high rise apartment in Gangnam, where most of the rich people and celebrities live. It’s kind of far from where he stays, and the bus ride is not even helpful because it gives him time to overthink things. When he arrives, the security blocks him and asks him who is he going to visit. He tells the guard Sungyeol’s name and the guard calls the receptionist (Sungyeol’s apartment has a fucking receptionist!) and only after a few minutes that they let him in, saying Sungyeol’s floor number.

When he gets there the door is slightly open and so he enters without knocking. The unit is big and spacious, and there’s quirky and colorful splashes of color, furniture and random items here and there that make the place so _Sungyeol._ The older man is sitting in the black leather couch in the living room. There is a cup of what seems to be coffee in his hands and he looks up at Myungsoo when he steps into the soft carpet.

“I didn’t expect you’d remember how to get here.” Sungyeol’s tone sounds surprised.

“Well, I don’t think I was ever able to forget anything about you, really.” He says and Sungyeol suddenly jerks his eyes away from him and takes a gulp from the cup. Smooth, Myungsoo, _smooth_.

“So, what do you want to talk about? I’m taking you wouldn’t come here if it was nothing.” Sungyeol’s face gets cruel and cold, Myungsoo’s seen it in his movies. His face crinkles, as if he’s shifting between masks, and suddenly he’s somebody different.

So is this all just a drama to him? A play?

“Cut the crap Sungyeol. Don’t act like you don’t remember what  happened last night.” It comes out a little sharper than what Myungsoo expected.

“What happened--”

“The kiss Sungyeol! We kissed! It’s not even a kiss it’s like full make out session, and maybe it’s about time we talk about _this_.”

“This?” Sungyeol’s tone sounds disinterested, and he’s clearly playing stupid.

“Yeah, this!” Myungsoo raises his voice.

“Jesus, calm down, Myungsoo…”

“I am— Don’t tell me to calm down! What’s the endgame here, huh?  Don’t pretend dumb - let’s just talk seriously like two adults.”

Sungyeol looks like he’s been slapped, and Myungsoo was able to quickly catch the slip of the facade.

“You want us to talk seriously like adults? Fine. I remember you coming onto me last night. What was that about, huh? When I kissed you - I was— you just ran out of there, without saying the word, and I blamed myself for making things weird, for… I don’t know, assuming things. And I tried hard to fix things, but instead you just—” Sungyeol’s face hardens and slips back.

“It was in the heat of the moment. I was drunk. _We_ were drunk. Kissing you felt like the correct decision at the time.”

“Great. That’s your excuse? You were _drunk?”_ Sungyeol looked at him incredulously, like it’s the stupidest thing that’s ever come out of Myungsoo’s mouth.

“How about you? What was your excuse when you kissed me inside your car that one time?” Myungsoo spits out.

“That one was a mistake. Clearly.” Sungyeol’s voice is crystal clear when he says it, and his words are like glass falling to the floor and shattering in the silence. “I thought I felt something - but I was wrong. Wrong about you. And it gave you ideas when it shouldn’t.”

“Wrong about what exactly?!”

“About everything.” Sungyeol stands up and walks to his kitchen, but Myungsoo follows him.

“Don’t do that! Don’t turn your back on me and end the discussion - I don’t even know what’s happening half of the time! I’m always trailing after everything, towed behind like a puppet on strings!”

“How is that my fault, you’re having trouble understanding what’s happening around you?!” Sungyeol throws the rest of the coffee into the sink and it splashes like a whip.

“It’s not that I’m having trouble understanding, it’s just that you’re hard to understand! Maybe in the world you live in, everything is changing within a blink of an eye - but normal people still live in the normal world, and I can’t possibly catch up to you! First we’re enemies, then we’re friends - then you kiss me - and then we’re back to friends!”

“And then _you_ kiss me!”

“I told you, I was drunk!”

Sungyeol looks at him long enough then laughs, and it feels fake. Too pitchy and sharp. “Fine. Let’s just pretend this is all one big joke.” Sungyeol gestures around, marking what is “all” in his definition.

“So you kiss your friends like that? On the lips? For a joke?” he’s yelling at this point.

Sungyeol rubs his face; “What do you want me to say, huh?! I guess I’m just not that good with improvising, I’m used to scripts. Just tell me what you want to hear, because I have no idea what you want, right now. If for a moment, I thought there’s something between us, it’s no longer there. It was fun while it lasted - but it was dumb anyway, this would’ve never worked. This isn’t a movie, and you’re not a co-star. You’re just as lost as the next guy in this god damned city, looking for some big breakthrough that will never happen, and if our little makeout sessions accidently get caught on tape, we’ll be tomorrow’s dinner. There is nothing so shiny and bright on my side of the rainbow, Myungsoo. There’s no end credits rolling for me - nor will be any for us.”

Myungsoo feels like he’s been suckerpunched.

He knows deep inside what he wanted to hear - and that’s not that.

He wanted to hear that Sungyeol liked him - that Sungyeol liked him _back_.

His knuckles are white and his fingers dig on his skin in his fists. He’s punched Sungyeol before and he can do it again.

“You’re just like everybody else. A fake phony, who gets up in the morning and wonders what mask he should wear. This is why you never have real friends, you don’t deserve them and you’re only concerned with yourself. You don’t make sense half the time and just hope that you’re as loaded with money as you’re loaded with bullshit. Fuck you.” He gives Sungyeol one last look and it pains him that someone whom he thought he trusted too much, someone too close would do him dirty like this.

He probably never really liked him anyway, toyed with what might have been an inkling of a forbidden relationship. Suddenly what he’s seeing is the Sungyeol who hated him and fought with him everyday, and it’s just so disappointing and upsetting.

“For what it’s worth Myungsoo, you were a crappy friend too.” he hears Sungyeol yell as he walks out the door and slams the door behind him.

He makes it to the elevator and out the apartment in record time and when he’s walking away that he finally takes a deep long inhale  and kicks the pavement in anger. He calls a cab and goes straight back to his place and that’s where he finally breaks down in cries, sobs escaping out of his body in waves as he gasps for air at the same time in his bed.

There are things that didn’t quite make sense in his head but now he doesn’t know if it was actually messy or if he just really misunderstood things like Sungyeol said he did. Love is always easily mistaken for kindness, how the hell was he going to escape that trap, he didn’t know. Everything fucking sucked in his life and he’s just so done with all of it.

Everything’s done for. There’s literally nothing in there to stay for. No career, no nothing. What a fucking disappointment has he been to everyone. Hooray for Myungsoo being the screw up. He stops crying, eventually.

The next day he packs his bags, and takes everything with him back to his parents in the province. He’ll start anew.

-

His parents accept him with open arms. They don’t yell at how disappointed they are at him, nor ignore him. They act the total opposite, and it makes Myungsoo feel guilty. Moonsoo is shocked when he goes home from school and sees him. He stays up with Moonsoo as he tells him everything he’s missed out on in their place, and he asks him about life in the city as a trainee. It’s already 1 in the morning when he decides to go to bed, and he sleeps in his old room. It didn’t change much after he left, it’s exactly as it was when he left it, years ago. As he lies down on his childhood bed, he relaxes, and lets sleep take him away.

Despite his parents’ acceptance, word rolls around their small town. They all see him as a failure now and probably pity his parents or something, but he just stopped caring about what other people say. They don’t know the hardships he had to go through so who are they to judge anyway?

He helps out with their family’s small field and farm. A pretty good amount of land, and they cultivate different kinds of vegetables in there. It’s a source of steady income, and it was enough to get them by after all these years. He walks around in the fields in the middle of the day, sun too high up and too bright, making him sweat. He pulls the vegetables with careful movements and fills their small truck by the end of the day. It’s a tiring job, but this is nothing compared to the harsh and strict environment of being a trainee. Here in the farm there is breathing room, and no one is yelling at him if he misses a step or beat wrong. He feels free and the work is enough to keep unnecessary things from entering his mind since he goes to sleep straight after dinner.

He doesn’t have much friends in there though, but he knows he’s all that every girl his age has been talking about. He overheard his mom talking with one of their neighbors and they talked about how girls around town are almost crawling to get a close look at Myungsoo or just to be able to talk to him. To them he’s like a shining sparkly brand new toy that no one has ever played with, and so they take it upon themselves to try and get a glimpse of him. His mom probably expects him to settle down with a woman one day anyway, and have children of their own. Myungsoo sighs when he thinks about that.

He doesn’t know if it was the lifestyle he’s been leading for years, or his true orientation was meant to be like that at the beginning. He’s had enough of disappointing his parents, but it’s not as if he can change which gender he likes anyway.

He continues to live quietly and harmoniously with everyone in the province. Some women from the upper side of town invite him to their late afternoon tea parties and he accepts out of courtesy. They ask him stuff about the city and he tells stories while they giggle at him and whisper how cute he is, or how husband material he is.

Never, since he stepped foot in their town, has he ever thought about Sungyeol deeply. He decided to leave all of that in the city, where it belongs. Whatever Sungyeol did to him and the hurtful words he said, he’s not lugging it back to his childhood home. He’s here to start anew and whatever it is that they had (or apparently, did not have) it’s for the city to keep, along with his failed dream of debuting and all that crap he gave up on. He even discarded his sim card and threw it in some trash can in the city and bought a new one, so no one will get to contact him and he’ll be able to live freely. It’s been a month or two or so now and he feels cleansed.

He’s drinking beer with Moonsoo on the porch when he finally asks him.

“Did you like someone while you were in the city?” Moonsoo eagerly sits straight in his chair and looks at him as he sips.

“Of course, I did. There are lots of people there, it’d be weird if I didn’t like anybody, now wouldn’t it?”

“No - I mean, did you date someone while you were in the city?”

“Trainees can’t date.”

“Oh yeah, I totally forgot. But you liked someone didn’t you?” Moonsoo prods. Myungsoo doesn’t know if he’s totally transparent, or it’s the brother instinct that makes Moonsoo ask. “I see you go to entertain the ladies by going to their parties but you don’t look too happy. Plus I can totally feel it off you ever since you arrived.”

“It was nothing.”

“Yeah, your voice says it was totally something. Spill the beans, hyung!” Moonsoo is excited and he almost bounces in his seat.

“He didn’t like me in the end or maybe he did, but then regretted it and wanted us to be friends. It got messy. We had a fight. He said really shitty stuff. I said other shitty stuff. It got totally ruined.” he sighs as he takes a swig.

“It’s a guy.” Moonsoo says, as if he’s tasting the words in his mouth.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, okay. I kind of sensed you don’t like girls anyway. Girls are naggy,” Moonsoo waves his arms and hands wildly. “Anyway man, that sucks. I don’t know the whole story but it sounded like he just took you for granted. You don’t deserve that kind of shit in your life, hyung.”

Myungsoo nods as he watches Moonsoo finish his bottle. He’s surprised at how his younger brother is taking all this in coolly, and how he is great at handling it. He was always afraid of opening up to people about his orientation because he thought people won’t accept him but his brother proved him wrong this time.

“I’m glad you came back, hyung, you know. We totally missed you.”

“I missed you too, Moonsoo. You, and mom and dad.”

“Yeah, we know. You should also know I always have your back, just as mom and dad also has your back. We’re family.” Moonsoo says fondly as he cradles his bottle in his hand and he smiles at Myungsoo.

When he lies down in his bed, he falls into sleep quickly and comfortably.

-

He’s out in the fields today working, and he doesn’t check his cell phone while he’s there so when he gets home, it’s a surprise that there is a black car in front of their house and every neighbor seems to be peeking, curious about what’s going on with the car.

He parks his pickup truck, in the front. He opens the door with his key and when he enters the first thing he sees is his mom sitting in front of a man wearing a white button down and black slacks. The man looks up at him when he arrives and has a smile on his face. He has never seen this man before in his life, and he almost wants to scold his mother for letting him in there. He might be a bad guy or something.

Myungsoo, with his dirty work clothes and sweaty self, approaches his mother.

“Myungsoo, sit down.” his mom makes him sit down beside her in the couch. There’s rattling in the kitchen who he assumes is Moonsoo or his dad.

“What’s this, mom? Who is he?” he asks as he settles down on the couch.

The man is still young, probably only a few years older than him and his hair is styled neatly. His facial features tell he’s probably got a nice and friendly personality, and Myungsoo thinks this guy could easily look like an actor. “I’m Kim Minseok. I work for Woollim Entertainment. I don’t know if you’ve seen me around there, but I’ve definitely seen you.” The man, now dubbed Minseok, introduces.

“The sudden appearance must have been baffling and startling, so I’ll explain why I’m here now. I told your mother about it a little bit earlier, but I needed you to be present for the whole thing.” Minseok continues.

“I don’t know if you know, but there’s been an uproar about Lee Sungyeol’s drama.” Myungsoo raises an eyebrow, and Minseok nods. “A few days ago, well - actually, almost a week now, someone leaked information over the internet that Sungyeol and the company lied about him singing and there were proof of it. Videos of you singing while you were a trainee. Comparisons. Everything. We’re assuming someone from the company got paid to leak it because Sungyeol’s drama was skyrocketing ratings off the charts. Anyway, the news got spread around real quickly and everyone was outraged.”

“What does this have to do with me?” Myungsoo asks and Minseok snaps his fingers.

“Surprisingly, everyone suddenly demanded for you. Everyone wants to know about you, what do you think of this, about Sungyeol, why you agreed to be his ghost singer. They want to hear you as you, not as Sungyeol’s ghost. They’re demanding you from us. You can check the internet if you want.” Minseok shifts in his seat. “I’m here to make you an offer, in behalf of the company, to make you famous beyond your wildest dreams. Actually, you’ve already just achieved that. You and Sungyeol is what everyone’s been talking about.”

Myungsoo looks at his mother and she holds his hand. She’s got that fond look on her face as she rubs his calloused hands.

“You want me to sign.” he states. He sees a folder on top of their coffee table and realizes its been there the whole exchange.

“I’m not going to sugarcoat. Yes. It would be ideal and great if you sign, but since I know how big this is, I’m giving you time to think about it. We’d love to hear your answer as soon as possible, and we hope it’s an affirmative.”

Myungsoo looks at the folder, then at Minseok, then at his mother. He nods and sighs.

“Okay.”

“Okay. I’m leaving the contract here, everything is in this folder, and you can find my contact number there. Call me as soon as possible. We need to hear as soon as possible.”

“Yes. I totally get that.”

“One last thing, I’d like you to know that every hour counts here Myungsoo. Not to burden you but your decision will affect a lot of things, may it be a yes or a no. So make your decision count well.”

Minseok thanks his mother before leaving. His father arrives shortly after Minseok leaves, and they’re all left sitting in the living room. His parents, him, and Moonsoo.

He’s kind of expecting that his mother won’t let him go after the last time but she’s apparently the one who speaks up first.

“Whatever you want, Myungsoo. If you think this is what you really want, then go for it. I’m totally behind your decision.”

“Me too hyung.” Moonsoo pipes in.

His father takes his time talking but in the end he agrees with the other two.

“I’ll still need to think about it. I need to check online. I need to think.” He explains to them before they get to wash up for dinner. His mother hugs him.

“We love you Myungsoo, and we want what’s the best for you. We don’t want to control your life, either, but we’re here to guide you and support you. Don’t forget that.” His mom says in his ear, and soon after Moonsoo’s hugging them and his dad comes last.

-

**[enter-talk] ‘THE BRILLIANT SOUND OF PARK SEONYUL’ DRAMA’S BIGGEST LIE**

_First of all, I’m going to put it out that I’m a fan of Lee Sungyeol and I like the artists on Woollim so you can say that I like Woollim as a company. But I think everyone agrees with me that they f*cked up when they made everyone believe that Lee Sungyeol was the one who sang in the songs in the drama but it was all lies and mediaplay in the end. I’m getting goosebumps just thinking about it. It’s so disappointing. I also feel bad for Kim Myungsoo who probably was just forced by the company, by the looks of it._

_[+8936, -2073] i really don’t know what to say at this point…_

_[+8582, -3,023] i wonder what went on inside sungyeol’s mind to agree on such a project if he doesn’t know how sing in the first place_ _ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ_

 _[+7322, -2,065] i was so disappointed when the news broke out. i refused to believe it and fought off other people in the comments section saying this is just some ploy to ruin sungyeol oppa and the drama’s roof hitting ratings streak_ _ㅠㅠㅠ_ _but the fact that the company isn’t making a decent move yet about all of this is concerning.... i feel pity towards sungyeol oppa but at the same time upset because he’s actually behind it too_ _ㅠㅠㅠㅜㅜㅜㅜㅠㅠㅠ_

_[+7283, -2089] what the hell… the country has bigger problems than this…_

_[+6946, -1010] i want to see kim myungsoo and hear from him now… i want to know what he actually thinks about all of this…_

_[+6534, -382] kim myungsoo’s singing is no joke… he should’ve been an amazing solo artist…_

_[+6113, -2867] because of this lie, the sungyeol fans would have to endure everything from now own… i think it’s going to be gritty from now on…_

_[+5293, -748] i say woollim should release myungsoo from the dungeon!!!! a guy as handsome and talented as that deserves to be seen!_

_[+4073, -2055] sungyeol loyalists are saying that the original revelation post wasn’t real but then it was proven to be true by other accounts_ _ㅋㅋㅋㅋ his peak is over now ㅋㅋㅋㅋ_

-

**[enter-talk] CRAZY, GHOST SINGER KIM MYUNGSOO IS CRAZY**

_This guy can definitely making me crazy! I investigated on my own, and found out he’s been a trainee for years and was supposed to debut with Infinite Power but he must be too early in the trainee program yet to debut? I found out he’s also the cute trainee friend Hoya was talking about in one of their radio interviews from before… Anyway, he’s f*cking crazy. I saw his leaked trainee practice videos and he’s so f*cking great at singing and dancing??? How the f*ck was he kept from the spotlight all this time?? His visuals are no joke too… it can put a lot of idols and actors to shame… Myungsoo-ah i hope we can see you soon!_

_[+1029, -293] i’m a guy, and a kim myungsoo stan starting today_ _ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ_

_[+1011, -19] ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ do we call myungsoo fans now spirits (because myungsoo is a ghost?) ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ_

_[+1001, -233] everything on the brilliant sound of park seonyul’s ost album rose in the charts_ _ㅋㅋㅋ i guess everyone’s listening on it now thinking it’s myungsoo instead of sungyeol ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ_

_[+1001, -19] kim myungsoo is indeed f*cking crazy_

_[+990, -104] i don’t know about you guys but i’m wondering why is he not a part of the new group woollim is supposed to debut… did he give that up to sing for sungyeol’s drama because that’s crazy twisted… what the hell is happening inside their company...._

_[+988, -123] looking at his face makes my heart flutter… he should be in musicals and tv_

_[+973, -108] i used to work at woollim as a lowly staff who works 9 to 5 on a minimum wage. i've heard a lot of things about him but you really have to see to believe it… his face is too godly in person for real_

_[+902, -10] i know they edited a little bit of the singing voice in the drama but it’s still undeniably kim myungsoo’s voice..._ _헐… he’s f*cking amazing_

_[+835, -14] i’m rooting for kim myungsoo to come out from the woollim dungeon ㅎㅎㅎ i think he’ll do well ㅎㅎㅎ kim myungsoo fighting!!_

_[+766, -9] the total complete package guy is here f*ck noona is going to take care of you from now on ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ_

-

Myungsoo scrolls on and reads every single comment until there is nothing left and he’s drank 3 cups of coffee. He reads the contract thoroughly and sees Minseok’s card inside. He lies down in his bed and rolls around as he hears the ticking of the clock and his heartbeat pounding in his chest. There are only two forks ahead: he can continue his life here with his family, working in the fields and inherit it, and have regrets—or he can sign the contract and go back there, pursue his dream of singing onstage.

He calls Minseok a day later, and within the same day he’s bid his parents good bye once again and the day after, Minseok’s black car arrives, and takes him back to the city.

He listens to Minseok talk about everything that he’s missed while he was away. They’re on their way to Myungsoo’s new place (after hearing that he agreed to sign, the company got him a really good place to live at apparently) and the day after that he’ll need to go to Woollim to officially and formally sign the contract and release a public statement.

The apartment is better than his old one, definitely, and when he sets down his stuff in the room Minseok continues briefing him about everything that’s about to happen. He finds out Minseok is in charge of him, like a manager, and he’s okay with it. Minseok is nice and also blunt at the same time, and Myungsoo feels comfortable around him.

When Minseok leaves the first thing he does is text his parents that he’s settled now, and goes for a long bath. Settling down in his new bed, he grabs his phone and decides to scroll on the internet, when he finds something that caught his eye.

It’s a blank white picture posted on instagram. But what draws him is the long message and the one who posted it.

 **_leeseongyeol_1991:_ ** _Hello. This is Lee Sungyeol. There were a lot of things that happened in the past week, and I owe everyone a statement. I’m sorry to have such disappointing news to everyone who’s shown nothing but love and support to me. When I first saw the script for ‘The Brilliant Sound of Park Seonyul’, I knew it was going to be something that would change my career as an actor if I was able to take part in that drama. Scriptwriter Hong has admitted once to the press that she wrote the drama with me particularly in mind and I am completely honored by that. So I took the part, knowing that I lack the skill needed. There are other reasons that urged me to push the desire to get this role and this drama, and I got greedy. However, my company was able to fix this dilemma. It is true that Kim Myungsoo’s voice was used for business purposes in my drama, as arranged by our company. It has come as a shock to everyone when it was suddenly revealed, but honest to my word that I never intended to keep it as a secret any longer. I was personally planning on giving a press release about this after the drama aired so that I wouldn’t trouble the production staff and my co-stars. But this mitigating circumstance was unavoidable, and it’s about time I come clean about it. I deeply apologize from the bottom of my heart, and I hope that everyone can forgive me and my company. As for Kim Myungsoo, who only agreed to everything as he is bound to a contract, I hope you spare him from judgment as he is what you can call a victim in this situation. I sincerely thank everyone who has supported me. I hope to come back as a better and refreshed person. Until the next time we all see each other again, Lee Sungyeol._

Sungyeol is nothing to him now, and whatever he says doesn’t matter anymore. Starting the next day he’s going to appear as a new person, a better version of himself. He’s stronger now and he’s ready to do what he’s been training for for half his life. He turns off his phone and immediately sleeps.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! One more chapter and this story is about to come to an end. Don't forget to leave a kudos and especially a comment on your way out! You can talk to me on twitter [here!](https://twitter.com/sandriyeols)


	4. The Upshot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is smut ahead in the latter part of this chapter, and if you don't want to read it you can totally just skip it! It's really okay. But then again, myungyeol smut is good for the heart and it is highly recommended by health experts. That's a fact.

“There aren’t many notable events in my life, actually. I quit school early to train as an idol. My life mostly consisted of practice rooms and cramped dormitories. However, I hope that in  this new path I’ve taken, I can have experiences that I can share with everyone else soon.” He dutifully answers when the host, a comedian in her 30s asks him to tell her a story. She’s nice to Myungsoo, kind of like an aunt you see on reunions. 

“We wish you all the best in your new career, Myungsoo. Also, we are very excited for your incoming solo album by the end of the month!” 

“Thank you,” he chuckles as he rubs his nape. “This album is going to be my first one, and we’re putting a lot of effort in it to make it an album worth looking into and remembering.” 

Myungsoo got invited in a radio show, his second one this week. Everyone wants to get a hold of him to ask him questions, flatter him, listen to what he has to say, and everything in between. It didn’t come of as a surprise, though, since the moment it was leaked (purposively, for mediaplay) that he’s going to sign with his previous company as a soloist, almost everybody had been anticipating it already. They’re all watching him with curious eyes as if he’s going to grow wings and fly away anytime soon. 

That, or they’re waiting for him to fail - to make a mistake and ruin himself before he even started.

There is a commercial break and he takes a sip from his water bottle. One of the staff comes in with a camera and takes polaroids of him, which  he also signs. They’ll  be given away to fans. Before he knows it, the break is over and the host is talking to him again.

“I’m really curious about something and I’m pretty sure everyone else is too. Are you and Sungyeol close?” She leans down a little. “I can ask that, right?” 

“Yes, it’s okay. To answer the question, actually Sungyeol and I didn’t really get along at first. We fought a lot due to creative differences, but later on we matured and continued on with a professional kind of acquaintanceship.”

“ _ Acquaintanceship _ , that’s quite the term to use.” the host prods.

“There isn’t a better word to describe it. Civil would be close as well, I guess. We kept a professional distance from each other but it’s not that contrived.” He explains. He’s lying to some extent, but this is the entertainment industry. The truth doesn’t matter most of the time here, anyway.

“Now, we are going to take questions from the listeners who are logged on to our website and watching the livestream right now,” Myungsoo waves at the camera in front of him.

The rest of the radio show continues smoothly and when the hour is up, he bows at the host and she pats him the back. Minseok is waiting just outside the booth and is looking at something on his phone. They exit the building in a slow paced fashion with Myungsoo waving and smiling for the cameras before he gets in the car. Fanservice for the people who came there to see him is the least he could do for them.

Minseok is rattling on about how they keep on asking Myungsoo about Sungyeol. Minseok personally thinks it's insulting to some extent but he dismisses him.

“It’s fine. Anyway, nothing’s going to stop them from asking those kind of questions anyway.” Myungsoo asserts just so Minseok can shut up.

He’s set to go back to the company since he still has a few songs to record. Minseok drives them through a fast food chain to buy him food.

“I love food. You are amazing. Just don’t let it get to your head.” He says as he sinks his teeth into the fattening burger he probably shouldn’t eat, but today his manager is being generous so he’ll take that over the diet plan he used to have as a trainee.

“I already know I’m amazing. Now shut up and eat your burger before I change my mind and take it back.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

By the time they arrive in the company, he’s full from the burger and large fries that he ate. He satisfactorily pats his stomach before he puts on his sunglasses and steps down from the car.

Minseok’s talking to someone on the phone behind him when they enter the building. He’s reaching out for the elevator button but someone else presses it ahead of him. He looks towards his left.

It’s Sungyeol. 

He looks noticeably paler now that he’s probably not shooting anything, and he’s wearing his hair down messy in all the right ways. Sungyeol’s also thinner and Myungsoo can see the cheekbones protruding.

Sungyeol looks surprised to see him, and thank God for Myungsoo’s sunglasses—his eyes are hidden.

He looks away and enters the elevator without a word, just because he’s shocked, and he’s scared to say anything. Minseok finishes his phone call, and follows him in 

For a moment, Myungsoo thinks that will be the end of it, and Sungyeol will just take another elevator - but then he comes in. The doors close. 

Okay. 

There’s three of them inside and the silence is suffocating.

“Not gonna talk? Or are you too famous to speak to me now?” Sungyeol’s voice is loud and clear and he sees Minseok shift uncomfortably through the mirror walls.

“For a second there, I thought having a scandal might change your haughty little attitude, but I see I was wrong.” He snorts as he shifts from one leg to another. He knows Sungyeol is looking at him at that moment but he refuses to turn his head.

“Well, now you also got a haughty attitude. Hurray. Two peas in a pod.” 

Myungsoo dreamed and dreaded of this moment, and every time, in his fantasies, in each of his elaborate daydreams, he was cool-headed, almost cold, made Sungyeol’s eye bulge out of their sockets (sometimes he even made him break into tears). But at that moment, Sungyeol’s lips extend to a small smile, and it makes Myungsoo lose any resolve he meant to keep. 

“Don’t compare us. I’m not haughty. I’m not you. I’ll never be you. You know why? Because I’m not a cruel son of a bitch who can’t see beyond his dumb nose.”

The elevator dings when he’s mid word, but Sungyeol stares at him for another moment, before finally walking out. 

Myungsoo feels like he won, and he’s not sure what exactly, and he’s not sure if he likes the feeling of winning, but before the doors close on Sungyeol, he catches them, and makes them go back and stares at him. 

“At least this cruel son of a bitch wasn’t in denial about his feelings.” He snorts, keeping a nasty sneer on his face, as if Myungsoo’s beneath him and let’s the door close.

Myungsoo takes a large inhale, but keeps his chin high, and refuses to think about what that means. He’s just trying to rile him up, that’s all. To get under his skin again. 

He walks away until he can hear the elevator door closes. He stops and sees Minseok staring at him incredulously.

“Did he kill you in your past life or what?” Minseok still looks shocked from the hostility.

“I just really dislike him.”

“I thought you were acquaintances.”

“Yeah, we are. I just know him, and I hate him.” he shrugs.

-

For the next few days he became so busy working on his new album that he barely gets to talk to other people aside from the producers and Minseok. He also gets several appearances every other day, to keep the pot stirring while it’s hot. When he looks at his fancafe during the limited free time he notices that it keeps on increasing in number. He’s beginning to have fansites following him on his schedules, and despite the number of people who don’t like him (he’s figured out a ratio), more people support him and that’s what matters.

There’s an album jacket photo shoot and a music video filming he did in 3 consecutive days. There are also guerilla events and practice he has to attend to. The days pass quickly, and it’s tiring—that when he goes back to his apartment he just cleanses his face, changes clothes and immediately sleeps. He doesn’t complain because he knows it will be like this. It’s actually a break from his relatively dull life.

His album debuts at the end of the month, and due to an unbelievable stroke of luck, it hits number 1 in all music sites. He receives a text from Moonsoo congratulating him and his parents called him late at night, probably after his father returned from field work. He and Minseok drink celebratory soju in his apartment and check netizen comments after.

He performs in every music show that week and it was truly an amazing and eye opening experience for him. He bows to the seniors there and is attentive and polite to everyone. He attends his fansigns with full enthusiasm and he thanks each and every fan for supporting him. He smiles for the camera and poses, and when it finally sank into him that this is his dream that has become a reality, he lets out a happy yawn and dives into his bed to sleep comfortably. 

He doesn’t also see Sungyeol anymore, which is a good thing. Their last encounter was horrible, and Myungsoo had wanted to avoid saying bad stuff but Sungyeol started it. Anyway, it’s none of his business now and he’s decided to be focused on his career now more than ever and stabilizing it.

But it’s not that easy, because when he steps on the set of his new thing—a hosting/permanent cast thing on a variety talk show—the first person he sees is none other than Nam Woohyun sitting in a plastic table (that surprisingly hasn’t collapsed on him yet). Woohyun spots him and immediately lights up like a tree on Christmas day.

“I knew my decision to take this project was worth it.” Woohyun grins. Myungsoo bows to him as respect.

“Don’t bow at me too low you’re making it seem like I’m a really old and respectable man.”

“And you’re not?” he asks and Woohyun gets down from the table and leans for a whisper.

“Between you and me, not one bit,” the shorter man chuckles. “Anyway I’m so excited to work with you. For real—so just call me Woohyun hyung. Okay you know what, drop the hyung. It makes me sound like I’m 40.”

Woohyun drags him around the set after that, introducing him to the people there and spilling secrets about them. Woohyun acts like he’s known Myungsoo for years even though they’ve met only once, and he doesn’t know if that’s just a Woohyun quality or is there something else to it. He isn’t given much time to think about it though as he’s handed a script and is briefed on what they’re going to do. He’s already given the orientation and shot footages a couple of days ago and today they’re just shooting on the set. He reads through his script while one of the makeup staff pats some powder on his face. Woohyun is sitting beside him and is currently busy with his phone while the stylist fixes his hair.

They’re given clothes to wear and after changing into that,  the set shoot begins shortly after. The cameras ran for about no more than 5 hours and when it’s done Myungsoo is tired and hungry.

It gets less exhausting after a few more shoots because the people he works with are fun and they don’t pressure him much into doing things that he doesn’t like. Well, Woohyun does, but it’s his natural way of doing things. For some unknown reason it’s hard to say no to Woohyun.

He’s dressed in his own clothes after one of the shoots wrap up when he sees Woohyun standing by the door talking to some of the lady staff. He looks up and waves at Myungsoo when he sees him and drapes an arm around him. The other day Woohyun already declared on national tv that he is Myungsoo’s  _ bestie _ , to which he wasn’t able to do anything but laugh.

“I’m hungry! Let’s go out and eat.” Woohyun huffs out.

“This is too contrived. Are you planning to sell my kidneys then hide me in the trunk of your car?” he asks.

“It’s just dinner!”

“No crazy stuff?”

“No crazy stuff.”

Minseok is waiting out when the two of them exit. Woohyun excitedly tells Minseok that he’ll be borrowing Myungsoo first for dinner and he’ll return him in one piece. Minseok easily lets him off since he doesn’t have another schedule after that. Woohyun leads him to his car parked in the basement lot.

Woohyun owns a Bentley. Of course he owns a luxury car.

“Heavily tinted windows for privacy when I make out with my boyfriend who so turned out to be your ex-boyfriend’s manager.” Woohyun states when both of them are putting on their seatbelts inside the car.

“I really didn’t need to know that…”

“Well now that you’ve hung out with me for a grand total of somewhere around 90 to 100 hours since the first time we met, you’re now entitled to hear shit like this from me. Suck it up.”

“Sungyeol’s NOT my ex-boyfriend.”

“Did you hear me stutter? I don’t think so.”

Woohyun drives like a madman on the road, and due to that they’ve reached the restaurant they’re planning to eat at in no time. He also kept on singing songs that play on the radio. He couldn’t help but notice that Woohyun’s voice sounds very smooth and articulate. He’s probably done voice lessons too—and a lot of it—considering the amount of skill he has. It’s the kind of voice that is naturally developed and trained to perfection.

“I’m curious — ” he starts as the waiter puts down the last plate of what they ordered.

“I know you are honey.”

“Were you once a trainee?”

Woohyun nods as he picks up his chopsticks. “Yeah I was. I trained for 4 years.”

“So you’re the one who actually sang your parts in that musical drama?”

Woohyun looks at him like he grew a horn on his forehead.

“Of course I sang my own parts! I’m not like Sungyeol who can’t sing for shit you know. No offense. Your voice sounds really great. Years of practice and vocal training really does good shit for natural voice quality.”

“If you were training to be an idol why are you here now though? You were a trainee, shouldn’t you be bleaching your hair and dancing while wearing skinny tights?”

“My company told me that I should try auditioning for a minor role in a small scale drama, you know —those dramas that usually air after lunch when people take a nap? Anyway, I got in that drama, and I was referred from one director to another. Thus, the start of my acting career. Real exciting shit right there.”

“You should try listening to the start of my singing career.”

“Believe me Myungsoo, I’ve heard so much about you before you were even famous with your number 1 single.”

“Really now?”

Woohyun points his fork at Myungsoo. “Jesus, you’re all that Sungyeol talked about whenever we would meet on set, for coffee, for hang out, literally for everything. It doesn’t help that I’m probably the only friend he has.  _ Woohyun, Myungsoo was is so blah blah blah! Woohyun, guess what Myungsoo did today? Blah blah blah!  _ Myungsoo this, Myungsoo that.”

“You’re kidding me, aren’t you?”

“I’m not! Listen, I know what happened between you and Sungyeol.” He shifts uncomfortably in his position and Woohyun notices it. “Right now he totally hates me because I’m on your side. Believe me when I tell you I’m Hashtag Team Myungsoo and I’ve lectured Sungyeol about you in his own apartment while we were playing Monopoly. Sungyeol, he’s said a lot of shitty stuff but what most people don’t know is that he does that because he’s guarding himself. He’s really protective of himself and the people he loves around him and sometimes he’ll do and say unreasonable things if it’s what he thinks would be able to guard them.”

“The last time we met he was using that snarky tone at me. I got triggered and we lashed out at each other Woohyun.” Woohyun isn’t surprised by this and sighs dramatically.

“I shouldn’t be the one saying and explaining this but since I’m such a kind citizen, I’ll do it. Look, even though he looks and talks like that to you, he cares Myungsoo. Sungyeol’s just bad with the whole coping and defense mechanism thing. I guess the atmosphere up there does things to the brains of the tall people as compared to us shorties.” Woohyun waves his hands around.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. I’ve thought things through and I’d rather move forward with a clean slate. Whatever misunderstanding or mistakes or crap that happened between me and him shall remain where it is, in the past.” he sighs as he digs into his bowl of soup.

“You can try and fool your mind Myungsoo, that’s why minds are powerful. But you can’t ever fool your feelings. I’m just saying.”

“You say a lot of things Woohyun.”

“Yes, and I’m right most of the time — ”

“That’s highly questionable now.”

“ — Since I know stuff. Now let’s talk about me again!”

-

He and Woohyun hang around a lot on set and play around with their dynamics that makes the show interesting. He’s always thought of himself as a bland person so he was actually worried that people won’t find him funny or interesting enough, but things were going pretty smoothly for him.  Woohyun, despite his extraness, constant drama or how exaggerated he is, is a great person and has proven himself to be quite the good helpful friend you’d want in your life —you might just need to overlook his inability to never stop talking.

He’s just entering to the company building, to discuss some projects that they intend for him to do, when he receives a text message from Woohyun saying they should meet up and have coffee, his treat.

When he arrives at the coffee shop he realizes it’s one of those secluded ones that no one goes to frequently, so it’s safe enough for them to stay there. When he looks around, there aren’t many people inside the coffee shop.

But most importantly, he can’t spot  Woohyun.

Who he does spot is Sungyeol.

He’s sitting near the corner beside a tall potted plant, hands on the table. So Myungsoo does the most reasonable thing, one can do in these circumstances, which is to leave—and he’s out of the front door before he’s even seen. He fishes his phone out of his pocket and immediately dials Woohyun.

“Hello, this is Woohyun speaking.”

“Where are you? I’m here outside the coffee shop!” Myungsoo furiously whispers.

“Why don’t you come inside?”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Sungyeol is in there!”

“Oh, is he now?” He can hear the malicious hint in Woohyun’s tone and immediately gets it.

“Did you set this up?” Myungsoo huffs out as he kicks a bit of the ground below him. Woohyun laughs as a reply. “I hate you so much.”

“If that’s Woohyun you’re talking to, tell him I hate him too.” Myungsoo looks up at the sudden voice behind him and sees Sungyeol standing a few feet away from him. He didn’t notice somebody creeping behind him earlier but now that Sungyeol is up close he definitely can’t look away from the fiery shade of red that Sungyeol’s hair is colored into. It makes him look even more paler and it just suits him so well. Goddamn it Myungsoo, focus.

“Sungyeol says he hates you too.”

“I heard him from here, now go on and enjoy the free coffee I set up for the both of you!” Woohyun actually sounds really happy, as if playing matchmaker is the best thing he’s ever done in his entire life.

“One day Nam Woohyun this will bite you in the ass, I tell you.”

“A lot of things bite my ass already Myungsoo, i.e. Sunggyu —”

Myungsoo drops the call.

Now, he’s forced to face the only person he doesn’t want to face, the very same person whom he always fought with, then reconciled with, then fought again. It’s like a cycle.

Myungsoo decides, that since he’s already here, and they already had a meltdown in the elevator, he might as well act mature and civil. 

He got nothing to lose here. Maybe he can just say he got something else to attend to, and leave.

“Did he order you to go here because he’s going to treat you coffee too?” He asks Sungyeol.

“No, he said I accidentally left my wallet in his place when Sunggyu and I last visited and that he’s going to give it back to me. I only found it in the car when I got here, so I thought it was fishy - but… I didn’t expect this.”

“Oh.”

“Would you like to have some coffee, since we’re here and all? Their coffee is really good.” It takes him by surprise, the way Sungyeol said it. It’s almost as if he kept on mulling over the idea and was hesitant of asking. Myungsoo realizes it must have been hard to say it - he wouldn’t have the guts to ask that, not with their last encounter still fresh in his head. So it might be rude to refuse and excusing himself would be childish. They are adults, after all. 

“Yeah. Okay.”

They go back inside and sit in the corner Sungyeol occupied earlier. Sungyeol picks an Americano for himself and Myungsoo orders an Espresso and when they’ve both received their coffee on the table, the silence between them prolongs.

“It’s good.” He finally remarks.

“What is?” 

“The coffee.” Myungsoo clears his throat, and Sungyeol looks exasperated, as if the worst thing they could do is to have a weather talk. 

“Look,” He starts; “Honestly, there are a lot of things I wanted to say, but it’s really hard to say them out loud. I can’t find the words... Or I’m just... ” Sungyeol trails off but continues rolling the cup of Americano on his delicate hands.  _ Oh. _ So they’re going to talk about that. 

“What is there left to say anyway?” He stifles out a sound that ended up dead in his ears.

“A lot, Myungsoo.”

Despite it being _ a lot _ , Sungyeol doesn’t say anything after that and continues on drinking his coffee. Myungsoo looks at the window and lets his mind run for him. No one is forcing him to stay in there. He could just leave and go. He thinks about leaving Sungyeol there because this is becoming a waste of time but when he tries to get up his feet won’t let him.

“I’m —I’m sorry. Okay. There.” Sungyeol lets out a long sigh after saying it. “That time, in the elevator, I’m sorry I lashed out in front of your manager. But I had a reason to be upset too. I didn’t mean it to go to that direction.”

“I still don’t understand what were you expecting? For me to just stand there like a bozo and let you say what you want?” he leans back on his chair. Sungyeol looks away from him.

“No, not that.” Sungyeol runs his hands over his hair. “I just, I’m sorry about a lot of things, alright? Not just the elevator. I’m sorry that when you came over, I lashed out. I can’t control my temper. I know that. I know that I’ve said a lot of hurtful words and I don’t expect you to forgive me easily like that because I was—I was wrong. I got hurt and I couldn’t handle it. I’m sorry. For not being able to handle the rejection. I knew I was wrong - that you’re right, and that it’s playing with fire. What if the media found out about it? They’ll have a field day - So I get where you were coming from. I’m sorry that I kissed you, or that I lashed out, and I’m sorry for getting scared. ”

“It - it wasn’t that.” Myungsoo finds himself saying. “I - I didn’t mean to reject you. I was just overwhelmed. Everything was happening so fast. I was scared I’m going to get rejected too, so I didn’t want to admit that I like you before you admitted it first. Dumb, right? I didn’t actually think about the media or anything - it haven’t even occurred to me. I just wanted to hear you say it first.”

Sungyeol doesn’t say anything. 

Myungsoo can see that Sungyeol’s hands are trembling on their own. Even though his palms have become sweaty from everything he’s heard, he reaches out and mollifies the latter’s hand by pressing it down on the table so it lays flat. Sungyeol avoids looking at him at all cost, and he understands. It’s hard for Sungyeol to lay himself bare and defenseless like this, and he’s done it in front of him.

“So I guess I owe you an apology as well. I’m sorry… for being a chicken, and getting my insecurity take the best of me. But I can’t help but be angry at you. Every time things get hard, you don’t get a free pass to do whatever the fuck you want and say hurtful words.” 

“When children fight in the sandbox, the only way they can reconcile is when both of their mothers have appeared and they’re forced to apologize and hug it out. But that’s for simple fights like pushing or taking toys. We’re adults now, and the world is different, and we are now aware that the way we view things and perceive them are different from one another. I know that I’ve hurt your feelings, and it won’t be easy to forgive me. Your scars from my words won’t heal themselves over time, I know because the scars you’ve left haven’t healed either.”

He realizes his hand is still on top of Sungyeol’s and he withdraws it the same time Sungyeol pulls back.

“What I’m saying is that I hope you forgive me. It doesn’t have to be now, and as much as it is embarrassing for me to admit—I hope I still have a place _ in there _ .” Sungyeol looks at him with a doleful expression.

Only then Myungsoo realizes that Sungyeol is willing to take the risk—and that it’s up to him now as to what is going to happen between the two of them. It’s such a heavy burden, and it takes awhile just to sink in —now that he has even more to lose, and so does Sungyeol. 

He takes a deep breath. 

“Okay.”

“Okay, what?”

“I’ll keep you posted about your apology and I’ll let you know when it will be accepted.” He says. If Sungyeol’s willing to take a leap like that, then he’ll learn how to do it too. 

“When you say it like that it sounds like a job application.” Sungyeol flashes a little smile on the corner of his mouth.

“That was my intention.”

“God, you’re so lame.”

“Be careful Sungyeol, you might have accepted mine - but your apology is still on process.” He wags his finger in front of Sungyeol.

“Don’t say it again and again I’m already cringing as it is. I’m not used to this.”

“You better start not cringing because I’m never going to live it down. Better yet, I’m telling Woohyun.”

“I take it back. I take the apology back.”

“You can’t take it back you properly handed it in!”

“Fine. I guess I’m stuck with you then?”

“Now you’re just pushing your luck, Sungyeol. ”

-

They start anew, and this time it’s much better than what Myungsoo was used to.

There’s an equal push and pull between them now, a dynamic of some sort. Sungyeol begins sending out obvious flirty messages towards him and he replies back. Sometimes he’s forced to wake up at 4 in the morning—he sends a good morning message to Sungyeol and he gets a reply 2 hours later. Sometimes when he wakes up, Sungyeol’s message is already there waiting for him. They talk a lot more about mundane things and what they are up to. Myungsoo is currently working on the production of his next single so he doesn’t have much time to meet with Sungyeol or Woohyun but he keeps in touch with them through a group chat. When they do meet though, they sit on one side of the booth and Woohyun and Sunggyu in the other side and he can feel Sungyeol’s arm brush against him. Woohyun later ruins the moment and points out that double dates are fun and that they should do it more often. He and Sungyeol both groan at the same time and then laugh at each other, and it’s so comfortable and relaxing that Myungsoo was able to get a good night’s sleep when he went back to his apartment.

There are days when the shooting leaves him too tired to function then he finds no time to eat despite his hunger—and it leaves him grumpy and displeased—but Sungyeol manages to calm him down from it and snap at him so he can think logically despite the situation. Sungyeol keeps him grounded, much to his surprise, and he’s truly grateful for it.

It’s one rainy night that he has to stay up in the company building for his album preparation that Sungyeol visits. Dongwoo and Myungsoo are cooped up in the recording room, their old one, when Sungyeol comes in with coffee and food in a bag.

“Jesus, don’t you music people ever sleep?” Sungyeol asks as he enters the room and carefully puts the paper bag on the table.

“We can’t. The next single launch is in a few weeks and we’re one song short. The company didn’t approve the last two that we wrote.” he groans through his tablet as he removes his earphones. “Now we need to make a new one quick so it can be approved and recorded.”

Sungyeol sits beside him and hands him ice-cold coffee. “Here have some coffee and I brought food, so both of you can do a good job. Make sure to credit me in the album though.”

“You’re the best, as always.” Dongwoo gives him a thumbs up as he takes a bite out of the sandwich. Sungyeol leans back on the couch and asks him what he’s come up with so far. He hands one of the earphones to Sungyeol and he lets him listen to the instrumental as he sings the lyrics he wrote so far. When he’s done, Sungyeol nods.

“It’s good. I like the flowy music and the first part lyrics.” Sungyeol notes.

He drinks his coffee as he writes, stopping for a bite of the sandwich Sungyeol brought every now and then. Dongwoo is working on the piano inside the booth and when Myungsoo looks at Sungyeol he’s noticed that the older man has dozed off. He’s uncomfortably napping with his head dropped down. Myungsoo tilts Sungyeol’s head so it rests on the couch, but Sungyeol stirs and leans his head on Myungsoo’s shoulder instead. Myungsoo doesn’t have the heart to wake him so he lets Sungyeol rest on him and it’s nice. Sungyeol is emitting warmth from beside him. He strongly smells of coffee and a nice perfume in there somewhere. Myungsoo likes it.

When Dongwoo gets out of the booth he flashes a big and knowing smile at him that makes him stupidly blush. Dongwoo chuckles and gets back to his laptop as Myungsoo gets back to writing. By the time Sungyeol stirs from his slumber, Myungsoo is done writing about love and warmth and the smell of coffee in the air.

-

The first season of Woohyun and Myungsoo’s show ends quickly, and Woohyun decides to hold a ‘close friends only’ party in his own place. It’s a penthouse in a high rise condominium in Gangnam, and security is tight. Myungsoo thought he was the first one to arrive but when the door opens the first person he sees is Sunggyu sitting on the couch.

“Woohyun, Myungsoo is here!” Sunggyu yells from somewhere behind him. He looks around at Woohyun’s place and almost every corner is adorned with something that screams  _ Woohyun _ , like a picture of him or a trophy of something. Woohyun comes from what seems to be the kitchen and takes the plastic bag he had on his hands.

“Thanks for buying the ice and extra chips on short notice, Sungyeol just had to do some grocery shopping and fuck it up at some point.” Woohyun prances around.

“Hey!” Sungyeol’s voice comes from the kitchen, so he decides to join Sunggyu in the couch awkwardly. Sunggyu is watching TV, and he sits there not knowing what to do but the silence between them is short lived because Dongwoo arrives lugging a case of beer. Amy, his girlfriend and fiancee is walking behind him with that positive aura around her.

“Woohyun where do I bring the case?” Dongwoo enthusiastically yells from the door.

“Just bring it here in the kitchen!”

When Dongwoo returns from the kitchen he sits beside Myungsoo and begins to stir a conversation that also involved Sunggyu. He finds out that Sunggyu used to be an indie idol—but then the group disbanded and Sungyeol needed a manager so the company took him in. Dongwoo tells him that he was the one who introduced Sunggyu to the company. Sunggyu doesn’t note on it much and he’s probably upset that Dongwoo brought it up—but it’s  _ Dongwoo,  _ so he can’t even get upset at him. When they’re talking about Sunggyu’s screamo days, that’s when the people come pouring in. There’s Minseok, then Mijoo, and two of her friends Myungeun and Jiae who he finds out as girl group members when introduced. A guy named Kibum and Minho arrive, who are Woohyun’s friends. Kibum is like Woohyun but 10 times more eccentric. Minho is a sporty guy and he’s apparently a friend of Sunggyu and one of Woohyun’s soccer buddies, and when they get acquainted Minho tells him that he’s a fan and that Myungsoo’s album was ‘ _ bomb af’. _

He invited Hoya to come when he’s finally gotten contact of him and he agrees, after finding out Dongwoo and Hoya are friends too. So when Hoya arrives with Hyojin, Myungeun, Jiae, and Sujeong flock to them like birds and he’s got a laughing expression when he approaches Myungsoo.

“Idol friends.” Hoya explains. “Too much time backstage in music shows form weird friendships.”

“I know. It’s like a jungle out there.”

“You’re now one of us, you’re part of the jungle too.” Hoya jokes.

“Seriously, I’m glad you can make it. I haven’t seen you in a while.” he pats Hoya and Hyojin appears from behind them.

“Me too. You’re a hotshot now! I can’t believe this guy danced under my supervision, now he’s a chart topping soloist. I’m so proud!” Hyojin reaches out to hug him.

“Yeah he is, and I contributed to that!” Dongwoo pipes up from where he sits on the couch.

“I know you do hyung, you love taking people under your wing.” Hoya remarks as he makes a handshake and chest bump gesture at Dongwoo.

“I’ve still got a long way to go you guys.” he tells them.

“But you’ve already crossed the line Myungsoo, I thought we got over this.” Woohyun butts in and hands them all bottles of beer. “We’re here to celebrate all good things—and for more of that good stuff to come, because I love being sentimental and shit.”

“Sentimental, my ass.” Kibum says from where he stands near the window, cradling a bottle. Woohyun fakes a kick in Kibum’s direction.

When everyone already has a bottle Woohyun goes to the center of the living room and makes everyone raise their bottles. “For Myungsoo’s career, my career, everyone’s career in here and the end of our show—don’t get me wrong Myungsoo honey I love you and all but the show concept is shitty I hope we never get forced to renew our host slot—cheers!”

Everyone’s chatting with each other at some point and Myungsoo’s in the middle of talking to Myungeun and Jiae about the mess that happens backstage in every music show they’ve all attended—when Sungyeol plops beside him on the couch with a really huge slice of cake on plate. He offers it to the girls and they’re easily distracted by the sugary dessert to drop the conversation. 

“Did you just bribe them with cake so they can stop talking to me?”

“A man’s gotta do what he has to do.”

“You’re unbelievable.” he takes a drink from his bottle.

“So, soloist huh?” Sungyeol waggles his eyebrows.

“It sounds pretentious but it's actually just singing, alone. Kinda burdensome at most times, but mostly okay.”

“I’m sure it is.”

“How about you, acting?”

“It’s a dream come true. Kinda burdensome at most times too, but mostly okay.” Sungyeol mocks his tone and takes a gulp from the bottle he’s holding.

“I read your instagram post you know. The apology post.”

“You won’t believe how long I thought of something to say. The company wrote something for me to post but it’s too contrived, and I didn’t like it.”

“You knew that you can’t do it, but you still took the part before.”

“Yeah, I needed it, you see.” Sungyeol rubs his own nape. “My mother suddenly became ill, and she needed this really expensive surgery and treatment in another country. She’s my mom, the one who pushed me from behind and kept my feet in the ground when times got tough. I love her so much, and that disease—it was too sudden and surreal. I had money, but it was still not enough for it. I had to get something in order to pay for it. The higher ups offered me a lot with that one. I can’t say no.”

“Is she okay now?” he shifts on his seat to face Sungyeol a bit.

“She’s recuperating in another country. The doctors are observing her closely to see that she won’t relapse. How about you? You never told me why you took it.”

“I didn’t want to disappoint my parents—although I already did, at some point—and I felt that I’d rather be someone who’s actually done something with his skill than be a washed up trainee. I didn’t want to think back and say, I totally regret not doing that particular thing. Something like that.”

“Look at how everything worked out for you though, you became successful in the end.”

“I had so many speed bumps before I got here, I thought I was never going to ever achieve it.”

“But you did, so let's drink to that.” they clink their bottles and it makes a nice small sound. Myungsoo likes it, and he’s realized that he likes talking with Sungyeol again. How he’s missed the feeling of talking to someone who makes you feel comfortable and at ease in your own skin.

“I missed talking to you like this. It’s nice.” he says.

“Yeah, I missed it too. I miss your lame puns and cat gifs.”

“The cat gifs are cute, aren’t they?”

“Yeah. You should totally get your own cat sometime, so Aga has someone to play with.”

“Aga is a dog, and you want me to get a cat.”

“Don’t be so racist, dogs can play with cats! You’re putting stereotypes on them!”

Woohyun then decides it's time to do some recreational activities—which is in reality a huge game of what he calls as ‘Attached by the Hip’. Woohyun brings out a bowl with pieces of paper inside, and asks everyone to pair up. Before he can even look around to find a partner, everyone’s already stuck to someone and when he looks beside him Sungyeol is there with his eyebrow raised —as if he planned this all along.

Woohyun makes him get a piece of paper and Sungyeol too, as he explains the mechanics of the game. Apparently everyone must stay attached to their partner by their assigned body part for as long as they can and if they separate, they’re going to have to take a drink of Woohyun’s concoction—which looks like a bunch of other alcoholic drinks mixed with blended leather shoes and mud. He swears he can see a few chunks of what looks like fur in it, and a really questionable topping. It really looks disgusting, and Myungsoo would not want to drink a sip of it.

The first few times are easy, like they have to be attached via each other’s hands (which makes him come to the conclusion that Sungyeol’s hands are really,  _ really _ soft) and each other’s elbows, or their knees. Myungsoo knows the gods of luck and fate are testing him because when he draws a piece of paper and it says lips he sighs.

Sungyeol peers on the paper he’s holding and runs his hands through his hair. “We don’t have to do it, let’s just drink Woohyun’s shitty masterpiece of a punishment.”

“There is no way in hell I’m drinking that. It looks like Woohyun personally dipped his foot in there or something.”

“It could be worse, he could’ve chucked in his pubic hair in there and we wouldn’t know because it would be clumped with the mushy brown things I strongly suspect that is his facial cream.”

“That’s actually gross, what the hell Sungyeol.” he hits him in the arm and Sungyeol laughs. When he recovers from his laugh, Sungyeol looks at him with that knowing glint in his eyes.

“So, is this okay with you?” Sungyeol leans in for a kiss on his lips that lasted for at least 5 seconds. When Sungyeol pulls back he’s flashing a grin like he’s totally happy with what he’s done.

“I think this would be better.” he pulls Sungyeol by the waist and leans in to kiss him full on the mouth, and the latter quickly reciprocates. There’s a feeling of extreme rush inside Myungsoo, he feels excited and elated as he probes Sungyeol’s mouth and kiss every inch of his lips. Sungyeol is eager to meet him as he tugs on Myungsoo’s shirt and runs his hands to grip his hair. They’re both gasping for air when they stop kissing, and when Myungsoo opens his eyes he sees everyone looking at them.

“Get a room you two!” Woohyun drunkenly throws a house slipper at them and Myungsoo ducks to avoid as he holds Sungyeol by the waist. “I knew you sappy tall people would end up together! It’s like the goddamn natural law! Oh my god, Sunggyu hold me. This makes me so fucking excited, I’m calling a wedding planner!” Woohyun excitedly jumps around to look for his handphone and Sungyeol laughs, which makes him do it too. He leans in for another kiss, a short one this time because Sungyeol kept on giggling.

-

Myungsoo’s scrolling through his phone while he’s sitting on the couch, when Sungyeol plops himself beside him then drapes his legs on top of his own. Sungyeol looks tired and he lets out a yawn when he rests back on the couch.

“How was it?” he asks the taller man.

“It was fine, but tiring. The script reading took so much energy from me, and the actor beside me has bad breath. I was pissed off.” Sungyeol makes a face and Myungsoo reaches out to pat his head.

“Poor Sungyeollie, aww.” he mocks with a baby voice.

“Shut up, I’m tired. I need a ‘pick me up’.”

He sets down his phone on the coffee table and leans in towards Sungyeol to give him a kiss. Sungyeol happily nods as Myungsoo pulls away.

“That was a good ‘pick me up’.” Sungyeol points at him. “I was definitely pleased with that.”

“I aim to please.”

“You did  _ not _ just quote Christian Grey, you kinky bastard.” Sungyeol kicks him in the shins.

“But I did.”

“That was such a trashy book I can’t believe you!”

“I didn’t read it, if that’s what makes you happy.”

“But you watched it though?”

“I didn’t either.”

Sungyeol makes a beeping sound. “Wrong answer!”

“How the hell would you know if it’s a wrong answer, you asked me first!” he laughs as he hits Sungyeol with a throw pillow.

“I know things, Myungsoo. I can read your mind.” Sungyeol makes an  _ I can see you _ hand gesture at him with his two fingers.

He sits properly and places Sungyeol’s long legs in his lap neatly. He faces the latter and leans in close to stare.

“Fine, read my mind then, oh great Sungyeol the mind reader.”

Sungyeol squints his eyes as if he’s truly looking at the depths of Myungsoo’s mind and then smiles.

“You’re thinking… about how much you love me.” Sungyeol is confident when he says it and Myungsoo acts surprised.

“Really now?”

“I told you, I know stuff.” Sungyeol winks at him.

“But I don’t love you though, don’t assume.”

“Oh please Myungsoo, you totally love me. Just the other night I washed your favorite pair of stupid socks and you’re like  _ Sungyeol you are a lifesaver you don’t know how much you mean to me! _ ”

“My voice does not sound like that! Plus, I totally didn’t say that. Stop making shit up.”

“You totally said that! Then you nuzzled my neck. That was actually nice, you should do that more often.”

Sungyeol makes a face at him and he mimics it back, until they’re both flailing hands at each other and giggling like children. They wrestle in the couch until they both end up in the floor, with Myungsoo on top of Sungyeol. Sungyeol’s lying flat on the floor and he’s catching his breath when Myungsoo props himself on his elbows and leans down for a soft kiss.

“Fine, I totally love you.” he says when he inches back.

“I knew it.” Sungyeol grins at him. “I love you too.”

“Yeah you do.”

He’s about to reach in for another kiss when they hear the door open and Minseok’s voice booms in the apartment.

“Time to get up!” Myungsoo pulls Sungyeol up before Minseok can even see.

“What a cockblock.” Sungyeol whispers and Myungsoo hits him in the arm with a pillow. “This is physical abuse, I’m reporting you!” 

-

They don’t live together yet but they still see each other a lot.

Sungyeol is busy with a new drama and an incoming movie to shoot, while he’s busy promoting his latest single. They video chat and text a lot to make up for the distance and conflicting schedule between them.

Sungyeol lay low and had a  _ cool down period _ , as the company dubbed it, after the musical drama scandal. He was advised to stay low key and let the scandal die down on itself by being buried by other more pressing matters or juicy scandals—which was really easy enough as it is. Now Sungyeol is picking up jobs again and despite the low blow on his career he was able to pick it back up. It pleases Myungsoo that Sungyeol is on his element again, and he’s told the older man countless times that he’s there rooting for him.

His next single is even a bigger hit than his first, and with the help of his fans he was able to get his first win. He is elated as much as his family and the company, and everyone is flooding his twitter and instagram with congratulatory messages. He uploads a selca with his first trophy and thanks everyone. 5 minutes after uploading it, Sungyeol—an actual social media hermit who doesn’t even post stuff—likes it then comments a simple ‘Congratulations!’.

He didn’t really have any social media account at first, but then Woohyun forced him to do it and told him it’s good fanservice. Every now and then he would post a picture of himself, of food, or a scenery that he saw. Sometimes he would reply to the comments. It seems to keep the fans happy and sated. 

Several celebrities tag Myungsoo in their posts of support to they’re enjoying his album. It makes him feel so warm that so many people have received it so well since he is more involved in the process this time.

Sungyeol calls him 5 minutes later he posted the picture to congratulate him. He’s currently shooting across the country and can’t leave until they’re done so he’s stuck there, but he promises Myungsoo that there will be a  _ gift _ , to which Myungsoo excitedly says he’ll wait for.

When Sungyeol returns a month later to Seoul, he brings a cute little Russian Blue cat to Myungsoo’s apartment.

“Ta-da! Here is your present for winning number 1!” Sungyeol raises the cat from his hold.

“Where did you get this?”

“I know someone who works for an abandoned animals’ shelter, and they were looking a new home for this cute kitty.”

The cat purred when Myungsoo gets a hold of him, and it pressed its face against his arm.

“What’s his name?” he asks Sungyeol.

“The people in the shelter tried calling him names but he doesn’t respond. Maybe you should try?”

Myungsoo thinks of a possible name, and when he says Byeol the cat begins stirring and purring.

“I think he likes it, don’t you think so Byeol?” Sungyeol reaches out to rub Byeol’s chin.

So Byeol becomes a permanent fixture in his apartment, and when he’s not around he asks someone else to look after him so he’s properly taken care of. Sungyeol usually brings Aga around so the two could play, and despite being different kind of animals they both get along so well.

It’s not all rainbows and happy times though, as he gets into fights with Sungyeol sometimes about things that concern both their relationship and career. They’re trying their best to conceal as much as they can and not look suspicious enough, and he’s glad enough as it is that they have experienced people like Woohyun and Sunggyu to help them but sometimes his anxiety gets the better of him. It leaves him with a pulse racing too quickly and mind unstoppable from any negative thought, like what if they get caught or what if Sungyeol gets tired of him, etcetera. He fights with Sungyeol about it but by the end of the day, when the steam has dissipated, they reason everything out with each other and make up.

Myungsoo knows that everything between them is fine, but there is still the unspoken elephant in the room. How they both want more when they make out, how it quickly builds up inside Myungsoo, and how badly he wants to do things to Sungyeol. He doesn’t know how to talk about it without embarrassing himself or feeling weird about it so he tries to bottle it up and settle with the fact that he can cuddle with Sungyeol while they’re taking a nap.

-

Sungyeol beats him out to it.

It’s sort of a special day; one of those rare occasions when both of them have free time and no work or schedules to think about. They’re at Sungyeol’s apartment, and they’ve just finished eating chinese takeout. Sungyeol is sprawled on top of him, phone in hand chatting with Woohyun as he plays with the strands of Sungyeol’s hair. After a few minutes Sungyeol puts down his phone and spends a generous amount of time making out with him. They’re trying to fit themselves together on the couch, but that’s not possible, so they kiss and gasp for air until they both fall down on the floor.

Sungyeol gets up and drags him up towards the bedroom. Here, in bed, he’s hovering above Sungyeol and their kisses are frantic, igniting in some way. His hands slide on Sungyeol’s lean body and every now and then Sungyeol would arch his body in another direction when Myungsoo finds a sensitive spot. Myungsoo stops as he catches for breath and lies down beside Sungyeol, his elbows propping himself. Sungyeol’s eyes are glazed with desire and exhilaration, as he tugs at the loops on Myungsoo’s jeans.

“So I was thinking —” Sungyeol starts and Myungsoo’s breath hitches at the same time.

“I was thinking the same thing.” he says, bubbling in excitement.

“So we should.” Sungyeol smirks at him.

“Great idea.”

He goes in for the kill and tugs Sungyeol’s shirt to take it off. Sungyeol easily obliges, then reaches out to hook his arms on Myungsoo’s neck. He’s busying himself with planting kisses on every inch of Sungyeol’s torso, lapping at the pinkish erect nipple that elicits a moan from the older man. Myungsoo conveniently positions their legs that gives him easy access to grind his growing erection on Sungyeol’s own. The room is suddenly filled with Sungyeol’s heavy breathing and small moans, and it makes the eager cock feel constricted inside his pants.

Sungyeol has helped himself out of his clothes and managed to throw Myungsoo’s shirt somewhere far away from the bed while Myungsoo nibbles at his neck. Myungsoo lays his warm, flat palm against Sungyeol’s erection and it makes the latter groan. Sungyeol is panting while he’s trying to unbuckle Myungsoo’s jeans, as if it pains him that it isn’t giving away itself anytime soon. Sungyeol puffs in frustration and Myungsoo helps him by forcing it open and he strips himself off of it, along with his boxers. Sungyeol looks at his package and instantaneously mouth waters at the sight as if he’s never seen it before.

Sungyeol has given him a handjob twice, and a blowjob once, but this is another thing —and Sungyeol’s whole being screams want and Myungsoo can smell it off of him. If his cock was not rock hard earlier, it was now.

He snaps out of his daze when Sungyeol throws at him a condom and a small bottle from the bedside table. Sungyeol scoots on the bed to get closer to him and he’s forced down to the bed.

“Just relax and lie down.” Sungyeol assures him with a soft touch at his shoulder. Sungyeol goes down on him to lick stripes on the base of his dick as he plays with his balls. His eyes flutter at the sensation and he acts on his reflexes, tugging at Sungyeol’s hair.

Sungyeol blows him for quite a while then stops abruptly which makes him groan. The taller man smirks at him as he opens the small bottle and pours the content on his fingers. Myungsoo almost chokes on his own spit when Sungyeol begins working on opening himself in front of him. Sungyeol’s pretty face contorts in many different expressions—a wonderful sight that Myungsoo will never forget about—as he scissors himself the same time Myungsoo tugs on his cock a few times then rolls a condom over it. It’s uncomfortable and his dick feels like it’s being strangled but he thinks Sungyeol prefers it like this.

Sungyeol straddles Myungsoo then, and hastily applies lube on the condom sheathed erection. The sensation he feels in the pit of his stomach is truly remarkable when Sungyeol eases himself down on him and Myungsoo can see the layer of sweat covering both of them.

He didn’t realize that he’s been holding his breath the entire time not until when Sungyeol heavily breathes when he’s fully covered Myungsoo’s huge cock and is adjusting to it. He reaches out to pepper kisses on Sungyeol and wipe the forming tears on his eyes.

“Are you okay?” he asks as he rubs circles on Sungyeol’s thigh.

“Yeah, yeah—I just need to adjust. You’re so fucking big, this is unreal.” Even in his state Sungyeol manages to let out a little snort.

Myungsoo places his hands on Sungyeol’s hips when the latter has began rolling his hips against Myungsoo’s. Sungyeol starts a slow pace, then picks it up to the point that he easily bounces up and down to impale himself with Myungsoo’s dick. It feels so good, and Sungyeol is so tight around him that Myungsoo can’t help but thrust his hips upward, and when he does, it elicits a long wanton moan from Sungyeol. Sungyeol bounces on top of him eagerly as he meets him halfway with his thrusts and he can hear the bed creaking underneath them.

“Come here.” Myungsoo tells Sungyeol when he’s rocking his hips into little circles. Sungyeol obeys and Myungsoo pulls back enough to change their position. Sungyeol’s now on his hands and knees below him—and before he can even catch his breath, he thrusts into Sungyeol’s hole and pounds into him with full force.

“That feels good?” he asks Sungyeol.

“Yes! So much better—”

Sungyeol moans and shouts Myungsoo’s name when his prostate was suddenly hit, and Myungsoo is too far gone to stop. He pounds into Sungyeol with sharp and strong thrusts that make Sungyeol sob as he chants Myungsoo’s name along. Myungsoo feels the fire build up inside of him, and he knows he’s coming. His right hand finds its grip on Sungyeol’s pre-come soaked dick while his left is holding on to Sungyeol’s hip as he pounds into him. Sungyeol’s moaning hitches a notch as Myungsoo begins working on his cock. He flicks a thumb on the head of Sungyeol’s cock and the older male is suddenly spilling come on his chest and the bed. Myungsoo thrusts into Sungyeol a few more times then he’s gone and exploding, a warm sensation filling the tips of his toes spreading across his body as he comes inside Sungyeol’s ass. Sungyeol is still rocking against him in little tilts as they both ride out their orgasm, and when they’re done and Sungyeol’s already slumped on the bed, Myungsoo pulls out, removes the condom and ties it before throwing it in the trash can conveniently placed near the door. He scoots over beside Sungyeol and hugs him.

“That was  _ great.”  _ Sungyeol is panting as he says it and buries his face on Myungsoo’s collarbones.

“It’s the best. I’d love to do that again.” he says as he sniffs out Sungyeol’s hair.

“Well it’s definitely not going to be today, I’m already tired.”

“You want me to clean you up?” he offers.

“No, just stay. Let’s nap first.” Sungyeol presses himself closer and they sleep like that, naked and comfortable hugging each other.

-

**One Year Later**

The makeup stylist is powdering Myungsoo’s nose while Sungyeol stands crouched a bit across him, hair being fixed with hairspray. They’re in the streets shooting for his new music video. Sungyeol wanted to star in his music video and the company agreed, much to their delight.

In the music video, Sungyeol wakes up one day to find Myungsoo sitting on his bedroom floor, kind of like a materialized conscience, and follows him around to annoy him. Sungyeol is supposed to be the only one who sees him, as he sings about what Sungyeol should do in a nagging way —like how Sungyeol should wear this top, or clean his room, be polite and generous, and to not lie or cheat in a relationship. The song is fast paced with an 80s vibe, with witty and playful lyrics that he and Dongwoo aimed to be relatable for when they worked on it. Some of the lyrics are inspired by Sungyeol’s random quotes and ramblings that they end up heavily discussing on for some reason even though in the end it’s just about lame stuff. Their relationship is like that.

They’re done with at least some of the scenes, and now they’re on to the ones needed outside. Some people pass by them on the road and take pictures, and he’s sure in a few hours the internet would know that Lee Sungyeol and Kim Myungsoo are working on something together.

He and Sungyeol walk around the area while Sungyeol ‘avoids’ him and the director instructs him to play around a bit for the camera and Myungsoo fake punches and kicks Sungyeol as the latter runs away from him and they pinch each other and all that. He pulls at Sungyeol’s cheeks and ruffles with his hair and chases him in the sidewalk. It’s really fun and Sungyeol makes acting seem easier for him than it actually is because he’s a natural like that.

After shooting in the streets, they go to an amusement park and shoot the final needed scenes there. The female lead in the music video, who’s supposed to be Sungyeol’s girlfriend, is none other than Mijoo who volunteered the moment she heard Myungsoo is going to be shooting a music video with Sungyeol. She’s already there when they arrive and she’s given directions as to what she would be doing. By the time they finish and wrap up, it’s already somewhere around 2 in the morning and the park is closed down. He walks around thanking the staff who helped, and when he’s done changing clothes he spots Sungyeol waiting for him just outside the changing room. They bid goodbye to everyone and rides in Sungyeol’s van, where Sunggyu would be driving for them since Minseok is sick.

They lean on each other inside the van and hold hands. Despite working the whole day, he doesn’t feel any kind of tiredness and he notices that Sungyeol is also very awake in his seat, scrolling through the internet.

“Aren’t you tired?” he asks him with a poke in Sungyeol’s cheek.

“Not much. It must be because I worked with you.”

“Wah, you’re so cheesy.”

“I got it from you.”

“I’m not  _ that  _ cheesy, Sungyeol.”

“Have you not heard your lyrics?  _ You should only love 3 people in your life, me whom you’ve loved in the past, me who you’re loving now, and me who you’ll love forever. _ ”

Sunggyu makes a fake gagging noise from where he’s driving and he laughs as he pinches Sungyeol’s nose. When he lets go Sungyeol leans in for a kiss and he gives him a peck in the lips.

“I want coffee.” Sungyeol says as he rubs his face on Myungsoo’s sleeve.

“Sungyeol, it’s almost 3 in the morning.”

“Coffee! You said in your song that I should do whatever I want as long as it makes me happy in the end.”

“That was referring to love.”

“But I love coffee!”

“More than me?”

“...No. You’re way better than coffee.”

-

**[enter-talk] KIM MYUNGSOO’S NEW MUSIC VIDEO IS BURSTING WITH CRAZINESS**

_ Kim Myungsoo just released his new single! Lee Sungyeol, Lee Mijoo, and Kim Myungsoo in one music video with a crazy fun concept! The music video is seriously too prettyㅜㅜㅜ The storyline is amazing I can’t stop laughing  _ _ ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Kim Myungsoo, let’s hit #1 again with Persistence!!! _

_ [+11992, -148] lyricist kim and jang are f*cking crazy geniuses to be able to make a song like this... 헐... _

_ [+11325, -102] i’m not religious but the lord has given us a gift and it’s this song and music video _

_ [+10889, -98] the song is seriously good and the visuals in the mv are overflowingㅜㅜㅜㅜ it makes me cry in happinessㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜ _

_ [+10631, -30] kim myungsoo and lee sungyeol’s chemistry is so undeniable, i ship themㅋㅋㅋㅋ sorry mijooㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ _

_ [+10117, -53] where do i apply to become an official fan of sungyeol and myungsoo’s fanclub ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ i support this _

_ [+9873, -78] this concept suits myungsoo oppa the most!!! persistence fighting!! myungsoo oppa fighting!!! _

_ [+9293, -86] what do I do after seeing and hearing thisㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ seriously ㅋㅋ crazy ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋstreaming go go _

_ [+8844, -38] this is that once in a lifetime song that defines a career and i’m really glad i was alive in this era to hear it _

_ [+8443, -6] the song is seriously addicting and the video is exciting and funny ❤️❤️ let’s hit #1! _

_ [+7922, -19] i was in the amusement park that day when they shot the music video!!! sungyeol and myungsoo are no joke visuallyㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ ahh i was almost screaming when myungsoo reached out to hug sungyeol for the camera it was too cute ㅠㅜㅠㅠㅜㅠ _

_ [+7263, -10] myungsoo used to be sungyeol's ghost singer... now myungsoo himself is a sensation! it's really so crazy unbelievable... and it looks like he and sungyeol really get along so well… ah the influx of selcas in their instagrams are crazyㅠㅠㅜㅠ they have both come so far now and it's so nice to see them together ❤️❤️❤️❤️ _

_ [+7001, -7] where’s the next video??? don’t tell me there’s no next video??? i need to see them together again!!!! _

_ [+6997, -0] sungyeol and myungsoo ㅜㅜㅜㅠㅠㅜㅠㅜㅜㅜ thank you for giving me feels ㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜ i'm going to cry myself to sleep nowㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅠㅠㅜㅠ  _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it! From the bottom of my heart I really truly thank everyone who has read this fic and supported me up to this point, and that goes to everyone who voted and commented on this story! I love you all, and I hope you had fun reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. ❤️❤️


End file.
